Last Sunday’s new post at wellthatsjustducky:
Me: Got enough toys there, Ducky?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: No.
Will you please come over and retrieve one of Trixie's toys from the storm drain? She's awfully sad.
Sincere Answer: Yes.
Reason: Finders keepers!
Looks like Mainway Toys renamed “Bag O’ Vipers” from the old “Bag O’” line.
“Sack of Snakes.” It’s one of our best sellers.
Ag
Snarky/sexist comments inspired by “Girls’ Ouija Board”:
- Because girls like contacting the dead, but only via tools that are pink.
- Finally!. Now they’ll have a way to get answers to all those math questions.
- It’s a Girl Ouija Board. So it must call other Ouija Boards sluts behind their backs.
- Don’t wager on the information you get from the Girls’ Ouija Board. It’s as accurate as the boys’ board, but your winnings will always be 33% less.
- Boys shouldn’t play with this one because they will have absolutely no idea where to put their fingers.
Ag
The local Chinese buffet is all inclusive- it even has an S&M machine for midgets!
FOLLOW FRIDAY
You might want to follow 0nelittlespark.tumblr.com. She’s my best friend and Ducky absolutely loves her.
But please forgive her. The term “midget” is offensive, dear. Call them what I do, “God’s Little Mistakes.”
Ag
Hmmm. A black Smurf. That makes me feel awkward. Well, I’m sure if Toys R Us is comfortable enough to have it on display then I’m just being oversensitive. I’m sure any stories involving black Smurfs in the sixties had no racial overtones, no thinly veiled racist stereotypes, and didn’t play on white people’s irrational fears of …
The Black Smurfs
“In a little mushroom village live the Smurfs, diminutive blue-skinned humanoid creatures. One , one of them gets stung by a black fly that turns his skin jet black, drives him insane and reduces his vocabulary to the single word “gnap!” He bounces around and bites other Smurfs on their tail, which turns them into black Smurfs as well. Soon, almost everyone in the village has become a black Smurf, and Papa Smurf, the leader, tries to find a cure and cease the tail-biting epidemic. The cure is found in magnolia pollen, which is gathered in great quantity and loaded in fireplace bellows to be used as impromptu ranged weapons against contaminated Smurfs. The black Smurf has to inhale the pollen, which, after a loud and powerful sneeze, causes him to revert to his usual blue-skinned bonhomie. A great battle is fought outside the village, as the black, tail-biting horde closes in, threatening to destroy Smurf civilization for good.
The first black Smurf to have been transformed, meanwhile, recovers some semblance of ingenuity and paints himself blue to avoid being sprayed by the pollen-powered antidote. This allows him to ambush several normal Smurfs and reverse the outcome of the clash. In the end, only Papa Smurf still stands. He rushes to the lab to reload his bellow but is bitten while doing so. As he turns, he lets the large pollen jar fall into the fire, which causes the whole lab to explode. The resulting pollen cloud descends on the raving black Smurfs, reverting them to normality once and for all.
This story was later used as the basis for an episode of the Smurfs cartoon, though their skin color was changed from black to purple.”
———-
“A great battle is fought outside the village, as the black, tail-biting horde closes in, threatening to destroy Smurf civilization for good.”
Yeah. Nothing racial there at all.
Ag
