An honest to God, I’m not shitting you, not meant to be funny or ironic post on my Facebook feed tonight.
If I may make a few quick points:
1) Yes. If you die unexpectedly people who worked with you might miss you enough to make a symbolic gesture in your memory. I’m sure thousands of near suicide youngsters who had up until now decided to keep going are instead throwing themselves off rooftops as we speak in hopes that someone will slide the fader switch on the track lights in their homeroom to 50% tomorrow.
2) Could someone provide me a list of ways that someone can die too young that are in the category of “Ways To Die That Don’t Require Me To Hide That I Miss My Friend?” So heroin overdose is obviously out. If you die from that, you’re a piece of shit. Got it. How about cirrhosis? You know, so long term substance abuse that leads to death? Is that an acceptable enough way to die that I’m allowed to make a gesture that implies “Thanks for the good you did and I’m sorry you’re dead?” No? Got it. Excessive alcohol abuse=anything you did that I ever thought was good obviously wasn’t. Okay. I really could use that list.
3) On behalf of all of us…screw your children. Or more precisely, screw you. How about this message it should send to you? “Maybe I should take this moment to talk to my children about how terrible heroin is and how if they ever find themselves enslaved by an addiction to find help and to remember this moment and come to me so something like this never happens to them.” And seriously, “Won’t somebody please think of the children?” is a point that doesn’t show your nobility, it shows your intellectual impotency.
4) You know what message it actually sends to your children? The message that they will respond to with “Philip Who?” They have no idea who he is. Maybe you should be more concerned with the message you’re sending to your kids. The message that they will respond to with, “Why is Daddy so mad at people mourning the loss of a colleague? Is daddy an asshole?”
There are a lot of things one could talk about on a “Suicide Prevention Day.” Depression and suicide are complex matters. I’ve written about my own journeys through darkness, but I don’t claim to be an expert or have some magic formula that will work for everyone. But I do know this. For a lot of people considering making that awful choice, when they get close, what they need is just one thing to keep them from making that choice right at THAT moment. And for some people, that one thing can be just a quick reminder that their existence matters. That they are loved. That someone would miss them.
There’s no way to know for sure who in your life may be in one of those dark places. A lot of us learn to hide it from those closest to us. So on this day of awareness I ask you to just consider taking a moment to tell someone you love that they are important to you. Maybe someone you know you haven’t told that in awhile.
At worst, you will make someone’s day by being unexpectedly nice. But at best, you might be the person who convinces someone teetering on the edge that they would be missed. And that may be enough to convince them that going to bed is a better choice than what they were considering.
It really can make all the difference in the world.
Much love to everyone fighting the darkness.
You’re much stronger than you think you are
I’m never gonna pass off the chance to reblog this because hell, sometimes knowing that some one fictional will be there in times like there really does help.
This makes me love Superman even more.
I miss this sort of Superman :/
*reblog because who wouldn’t!?*
This right here is MY Superman.
This is a scene I wanted in “Man Of Steel.”
Holy shit that’s fucking embarrassing.
Fuck my state.
The one for Texas is too true.
identity theft… that’s probably because of all the old people getting tricked into giving up their information. At least we aren’t North Dakota.
If Alaska is worst at suicide, does that mean people are least likely to be successful at it there?
"I’ve tried to kill myself 18 times. Damn Inuits keep taking me to the hospital."
I’ve been thinking a lot about Jacintha Saldanha since learning of her apparent suicide. I don’t know why she made the decision she did and I won’t dishonor her memory by speculating. Suicide is a choice that baffles those closest to the victim while strangers think they can psychoanalyze the departed after reading a few news articles. None of us know why she felt ending her life was the choice she needed to make.
But there have been times in my life when I was close to making that same awful decision. Sometimes fear stopped me. Sometimes a moment of clarity showed me a better path. Sometimes I just decided, “Not today.”
But more times than I can remember, it was a small act of love or simple kindness that for a moment gave me the desire to not give up. Someone recognized something I’d done well, or thanked me for some effort, or just smiled at me or laughed at a joke.
My life has been saved dozens of times by people who will never know.
There are lots of reasons to be just a little nicer to people than you need to; reasons to be kind and patient while expecting nothing in return, and Jacintha has reminded me of one of the most important reasons.
Today might be the day that someone really needs you to do it.
Rest in peace, Jacintha Saldanha.
Even Mickey has his dark moments.
I still want this on a T-Shirt.
"Tune in next week kids to find out if Mickey does it!"
Tropical Depression Revisited
There were posts before this, but they were usually just snippets meant to be pithy or funny. This was the first time I decided to go into detail and open up. And it felt good.
Reading it, I hear how I was still low, and still unsure that the path I was on would get me where I wanted to be. But I also rememeber this moment as the beginning of seeing just the slightest flicker of light above me as I slowly began to transition away from only finding value in myself through accomplishments. Perhaps, “I have value simply because I am.”
This won’t be funny and likely won’t be interesting to most of you. But Un asked the question, and others I respect piped in, so for them, a little context. For the rest of you. I’m sure I’ll come up with a poop joke soon.
Rewind Sunday: August 27, 2010
One of my favorite Ducky posts. I was dealing with some heady issues in my life at the time. Ducky was too. We helped each other.
Ducky: Hey, Dad?
Me: Yes, Ducky?
Ducky: What happens when you die?
Me: Wow. I don’t know, Ducky. No one knows. I think dogs like you go to a special place where you get to run free all the time, and not have seizures, and eat when you want and as much as you want and, if you wanted, you would be able to check in on me sometimes.
Me: Yeah. And I think you’re gonna meet Sniffles and Sam and you’re going to get along really well because you were all my dogs.
Ducky: You think?
Me: Yup. I still think I see Sniffles and Sam out of the corner of my eye sometimes. So I think they’re around when they want to be; when I need them. But for the most part I think they run around and have fun because they know that I have you looking out for me.
Ducky: But what happens if you die? Where do you go?
Me: That I don’t know.
Ducky: But you think you know where I go?
Me: Yeah. I know that’s weird.
Ducky: A little.
Me: But I’m not going to die for a long time.
Ducky: Because you’ve told me things on those bad nights…
Me: Those were just bad nights, Ducky. They’re over now.
Ducky: But what about an accident? You could get hit by a car or get heartworm.
Me: Well, if I died I’m sure your Mom would take you back right away.
Me: I promise.
Ducky: If you go to a place like the one you talked about, when you weren’t running and playing with other people would you check in on me sometime?
Me: Absolutely. Whenever you needed me and sometimes just because…
Ducky: OK. Thanks, Dad.
Me: You’re welcome, Duck.
Ducky: Don’t die.
Me: You too.
Me: Love you, Ducky.
Ducky: Love you too, Dad.
From a looooong time ago. Things have changed. I think less about killing myself and I don’t make the mistake of thinking that people read long things on tumblr!
(As a reminder, if this writing exercise concerns you, relax.)
So when I think about ending it all, I tend to focus less on the actual killing of myself and more on the suicide note. Thinking about how I’m going to do it involves planning, weighing options, deciding on timing, and then actually making a decision. And let’s face it, if I was good at pulling the trigger on the big decisions in my life, chances are I wouldn’t be thinking about, well, pulling the trigger.