Well, That's Just Great
wellthatsjustgreat:

I ONLY use “Multi-Purpose Spoons.” Fuck spoons who are very centered and focused on a singular purpose! I want me a renaissance spoon! Or a spoon with ADD! Multi-Purpose Spoons kick ass!
They provide an alternative to soup scalded hands.
They can be used to cover one eye at the optometrist. 
They can be used to help you eat stuff that’s all liquidy and shit.
They can be used to unsuccessfully cut steak. 
They can be used to cover the OTHER eye at the optometrist. 
They can be used to demonstrate a sleeping position that your girlfriend likes but that there is no damn way to actually sleep while doing. 
They can be used as swimming pools for your pet fleas.
They can be used for taking way too long to dig a hole.
They can be used as an environmentally sound reusable alternative to toilet paper.
They can be used to do imprecise scale testing of that deal where you step on a rake and it flies up in your face and goes like, “THUUUUUNNGGG!!!!” 
They can be used to save your voice by holding one up when someone asks “What’s that in your hand?” (Caveat: Must be holding spoon in hand when asked) 
They can be used as carving knives to really fuck up that Thanksgiving turkey. That’ll teach ‘em! YOU THINK I RUINED THANKSGIVING LAST YEAR BY CRYING, MOM?! WELL, GOOD LUCK HAVING A DECENT THANKSGIVING WITH THAT BIRD!!!! WHO’S CRYING NOW, HUH?! WHO’S CRYING NOW!?!?!?!
They can be held if a robber tells you, “Drop everything except the spoons.” 
They can be used as marital aids. Assuming your partner likes spoons in their hoo-haa or po-po. 
On a related note, fuck forks!
Ag.

wellthatsjustgreat:

I ONLY use “Multi-Purpose Spoons.” Fuck spoons who are very centered and focused on a singular purpose! I want me a renaissance spoon! Or a spoon with ADD! Multi-Purpose Spoons kick ass!

  • They provide an alternative to soup scalded hands.
  • They can be used to cover one eye at the optometrist. 
  • They can be used to help you eat stuff that’s all liquidy and shit.
  • They can be used to unsuccessfully cut steak. 
  • They can be used to cover the OTHER eye at the optometrist. 
  • They can be used to demonstrate a sleeping position that your girlfriend likes but that there is no damn way to actually sleep while doing. 
  • They can be used as swimming pools for your pet fleas.
  • They can be used for taking way too long to dig a hole.
  • They can be used as an environmentally sound reusable alternative to toilet paper.
  • They can be used to do imprecise scale testing of that deal where you step on a rake and it flies up in your face and goes like, “THUUUUUNNGGG!!!!” 
  • They can be used to save your voice by holding one up when someone asks “What’s that in your hand?” (Caveat: Must be holding spoon in hand when asked) 
  • They can be used as carving knives to really fuck up that Thanksgiving turkey. That’ll teach ‘em! YOU THINK I RUINED THANKSGIVING LAST YEAR BY CRYING, MOM?! WELL, GOOD LUCK HAVING A DECENT THANKSGIVING WITH THAT BIRD!!!! WHO’S CRYING NOW, HUH?! WHO’S CRYING NOW!?!?!?!
  • They can be held if a robber tells you, “Drop everything except the spoons.” 
  • They can be used as marital aids. Assuming your partner likes spoons in their hoo-haa or po-po. 

On a related note, fuck forks!

Ag.

Rewind Sunday
wellthatsjustgreat:

I ONLY use “Multi-Purpose Spoons.” Fuck spoons who are very centered and focused on a singular purpose! I want me a renaissance spoon! Or a spoon with ADD! Multi-Purpose Spoons kick ass!
They provide an alternative to soup scalded hands.
They can be used to cover one eye at the optometrist. 
They can be used to help you eat stuff that’s all liquidy and shit.
They can be used to unsuccessfully cut steak. 
They can be used to cover the OTHER eye at the optometrist. 
They can be used to demonstrate a sleeping position that your girlfriend likes but that there is no damn way to actually sleep while doing. 
They can be used as swimming pools for your pet fleas.
They can be used for taking way too long to dig a hole.
They can be used as an environmentally sound reusable alternative to toilet paper.
They can be used to do imprecise scale testing of that deal where you step on a rake and it flies up in your face and goes like, “THUUUUUNNGGG!!!!” 
They can be used to save your voice by holding one up when someone asks “What’s that in your hand?” (Caveat: Must be holding spoon in hand when asked) 
They can be used as carving knives to really fuck up that Thanksgiving turkey. That’ll teach ‘em! YOU THINK I RUINED THANKSGIVING LAST YEAR BY CRYING, MOM?! WELL, GOOD LUCK HAVING A DECENT THANKSGIVING WITH THAT BIRD!!!! WHO’S CRYING NOW, HUH?! WHO’S CRYING NOW!?!?!?!
They can be held if a robber tells you, “Drop everything except the spoons.” 
They can be used as marital aids. Assuming your partner likes spoons in their hoo-haa or po-po. 
On a related note, fuck forks!
Ag.

Rewind Sunday

wellthatsjustgreat:

I ONLY use “Multi-Purpose Spoons.” Fuck spoons who are very centered and focused on a singular purpose! I want me a renaissance spoon! Or a spoon with ADD! Multi-Purpose Spoons kick ass!

  • They provide an alternative to soup scalded hands.
  • They can be used to cover one eye at the optometrist. 
  • They can be used to help you eat stuff that’s all liquidy and shit.
  • They can be used to unsuccessfully cut steak. 
  • They can be used to cover the OTHER eye at the optometrist. 
  • They can be used to demonstrate a sleeping position that your girlfriend likes but that there is no damn way to actually sleep while doing. 
  • They can be used as swimming pools for your pet fleas.
  • They can be used for taking way too long to dig a hole.
  • They can be used as an environmentally sound reusable alternative to toilet paper.
  • They can be used to do imprecise scale testing of that deal where you step on a rake and it flies up in your face and goes like, “THUUUUUNNGGG!!!!” 
  • They can be used to save your voice by holding one up when someone asks “What’s that in your hand?” (Caveat: Must be holding spoon in hand when asked) 
  • They can be used as carving knives to really fuck up that Thanksgiving turkey. That’ll teach ‘em! YOU THINK I RUINED THANKSGIVING LAST YEAR BY CRYING, MOM?! WELL, GOOD LUCK HAVING A DECENT THANKSGIVING WITH THAT BIRD!!!! WHO’S CRYING NOW, HUH?! WHO’S CRYING NOW!?!?!?!
  • They can be held if a robber tells you, “Drop everything except the spoons.” 
  • They can be used as marital aids. Assuming your partner likes spoons in their hoo-haa or po-po. 

On a related note, fuck forks!

Ag.

Me: What makes them dirty?
Her: Look. 
Me: (looks)
Her: Well?
Me: That’s disgusting?
Her: Uh huh. 
Me: Who would someone want to put something shaped like that in their mouth?
Her: Your mom?
Me: Touché.

Me: What makes them dirty?
Her: Look.
Me: (looks)
Her: Well?
Me: That’s disgusting?
Her: Uh huh.
Me: Who would someone want to put something shaped like that in their mouth?
Her: Your mom?
Me: Touché.

I ONLY use “Multi-Purpose Spoons.” Fuck spoons who are very centered and focused on a singular purpose! I want me a renaissance spoon! Or a spoon with ADD! Multi-Purpose Spoons kick ass!
They provide an alternative to soup scalded hands.
They can be used to cover one eye at the optometrist. 
They can be used to help you eat stuff that’s all liquidy and shit.
They can be used to unsuccessfully cut steak. 
They can be used to cover the OTHER eye at the optometrist. 
They can be used to demonstrate a sleeping position that your girlfriend likes but that there is no damn way to actually sleep while doing. 
They can be used as swimming pools for your pet fleas.
They can be used for taking way too long to dig a hole.
They can be used as an environmentally sound reusable alternative to toilet paper.
They can be used to do imprecise scale testing of that deal where you step on a rake and it flies up in your face and goes like, “THUUUUUNNGGG!!!!”  
They can be used to save your voice by holding one up when someone asks “What’s that in your hand?” (Caveat: Must be holding spoon in hand when asked) 
They can be used as carving knives to really fuck up that Thanksgiving turkey. That’ll teach ‘em! YOU THINK I RUINED THANKSGIVING LAST YEAR BY CRYING, MOM?! WELL, GOOD LUCK HAVING A DECENT THANKSGIVING WITH THAT BIRD!!!! WHO’S CRYING NOW, HUH?! WHO’S CRYING NOW!?!?!?!
They can be held if a robber tells you, “Drop everything except the spoons.”  
They can be used as marital aids. Assuming your partner likes spoons in their hoo-haa or po-po. 
On a related note, fuck forks!
Ag.

I ONLY use “Multi-Purpose Spoons.” Fuck spoons who are very centered and focused on a singular purpose! I want me a renaissance spoon! Or a spoon with ADD! Multi-Purpose Spoons kick ass!

  • They provide an alternative to soup scalded hands.
  • They can be used to cover one eye at the optometrist. 
  • They can be used to help you eat stuff that’s all liquidy and shit.
  • They can be used to unsuccessfully cut steak. 
  • They can be used to cover the OTHER eye at the optometrist. 
  • They can be used to demonstrate a sleeping position that your girlfriend likes but that there is no damn way to actually sleep while doing. 
  • They can be used as swimming pools for your pet fleas.
  • They can be used for taking way too long to dig a hole.
  • They can be used as an environmentally sound reusable alternative to toilet paper.
  • They can be used to do imprecise scale testing of that deal where you step on a rake and it flies up in your face and goes like, “THUUUUUNNGGG!!!!” 
  • They can be used to save your voice by holding one up when someone asks “What’s that in your hand?” (Caveat: Must be holding spoon in hand when asked) 
  • They can be used as carving knives to really fuck up that Thanksgiving turkey. That’ll teach ‘em! YOU THINK I RUINED THANKSGIVING LAST YEAR BY CRYING, MOM?! WELL, GOOD LUCK HAVING A DECENT THANKSGIVING WITH THAT BIRD!!!! WHO’S CRYING NOW, HUH?! WHO’S CRYING NOW!?!?!?!
  • They can be held if a robber tells you, “Drop everything except the spoons.” 
  • They can be used as marital aids. Assuming your partner likes spoons in their hoo-haa or po-po. 

On a related note, fuck forks!

Ag.

Thank, God! I finally found a source of “Multi-Purpose Spoons!” That means I can get rid of all of my single use spoons. Including:
My Soup Spoon
My Cereal Eating Spoon
My Coke Spoon
My Mashed Potato Eating Spoon
My Steak Spoon
My Self Defense Spoon 
My Neti Pot Fluid Catching Spoon
My Couple of Silver Spoons
My Musical Spoons-although I may need to abandon my work in progress “Symphony for Spoons in D Minor” (the saddest of all keys)
My Back Scratching Spoon and Butt Scratching Spoons. On a related note, if I invite you over, ask me before you start eating with any of my spoons.
My Four Tined Spoon…wait…that’s my fork.
My life just got so much simpler!
Ag

Thank, God! I finally found a source of “Multi-Purpose Spoons!” That means I can get rid of all of my single use spoons. Including:

  • My Soup Spoon
  • My Cereal Eating Spoon
  • My Coke Spoon
  • My Mashed Potato Eating Spoon
  • My Steak Spoon
  • My Self Defense Spoon 
  • My Neti Pot Fluid Catching Spoon
  • My Couple of Silver Spoons
  • My Musical Spoons-although I may need to abandon my work in progress “Symphony for Spoons in D Minor” (the saddest of all keys)
  • My Back Scratching Spoon and Butt Scratching Spoons. On a related note, if I invite you over, ask me before you start eating with any of my spoons.
  • My Four Tined Spoon…wait…that’s my fork.

My life just got so much simpler!

Ag