Well, That's Just Great
Nothing's ever simple with me.
Her: You have some cheese hanging from your chin.
Me: Don't worry. Meal just started. Plenty of time for that to resolve itself.
Her: ...
Me: Look, if I stop to wipe up every time I get some food on me this meal will take forever.
I hope they only mean if my meal makes a mess IN THE MICROWAVE. 

"Damn! I dropped my Lean Cuisine Pumpkin Ravioli on the living room carpet!"

"Go clean the microwave."

"What? But I dropped it in h…"

"BE RESPECTFUL!!! Clean the fucking microwave!!!!"

"Okay."

Ag

I hope they only mean if my meal makes a mess IN THE MICROWAVE.

"Damn! I dropped my Lean Cuisine Pumpkin Ravioli on the living room carpet!"

"Go clean the microwave."

"What? But I dropped it in h…"

"BE RESPECTFUL!!! Clean the fucking microwave!!!!"

"Okay."

Ag

First night with the silliest sloppiest stage kiss I’ve ever done

If the thought of kissing me seems unpleasant to you now imagine kissing me when I’m actually TRYING to do it badly.

Ag

The goal was to finally clean and organize my pig sty of an apartment by 8:00

It is now 8:00 and I have managed to tidy up the additional mess I made today but made no additional progress.

The four hour nap of self pity didn’t help!

Ag