Well, That's Just Great

Another? Already?

You know, if you chose brown instead of red for your logo it would look a little more like you help kitty cats and a little less like your CEO is the devil.

You know, if you chose brown instead of red for your logo it would look a little more like you help kitty cats and a little less like your CEO is the devil.

The creative process of the conscientious social commentator
  1. Write a post about how ridiculous the overreaction to ebola is. Criticize the media for sensationalized, excessive coverage designed to drive ratings.
  2. Discover that said post has gotten more notes than anything you have written in months because, you know, ebola.
  3. Thoughtfully consider your role in the machine. 
  4. Begin writing first post in eighteen post series on ebola. Wish soul a fond farewell.
theclearlydope:

Well Done: Batman canned goods. 
[via]

You either die as a can of beans or live long enough to see yourself become a burrito.
Ag

theclearlydope:

Well Done: Batman canned goods. 

[via]

You either die as a can of beans or live long enough to see yourself become a burrito.

Ag

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Hey, Duck.
Ducky: Hey, Daddy.
Me: Comfy under there?
Ducky: Yup.
Me: You like being able to crawl under the bed, don’t you?
Ducky: Yup.
Me: Like a little Ducky cave.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Why have you taken this sudden interest in my Ducky cave?
Me: No reason.
Ducky: …
Me: But we have been looking at other beds.
Ducky: Uh huh.
Me: Different styles.
Ducky: Uh huh.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: There’s this one style that has drawers underneath for storage.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Ducky storage?
Me: No. Clothing storage. Blanket storage. Stuff like that.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: That sounds like it would impact leg room. 
Me: A bit. But maybe we could find a different den for you. Like maybe you could hang out in the closet.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Maybe you could store your stupid clothes on the bed and you and The Lady can hang out in the closet.
Me: So you’re saying you would prefer we keep this bed?
Ducky: That is what I am saying. Although if you kept this style I wouldn’t mind you bumping up to King.
Me: More leg room?
Ducky: More leg room.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET! 

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Hey, Duck.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.

Me: Comfy under there?

Ducky: Yup.

Me: You like being able to crawl under the bed, don’t you?

Ducky: Yup.

Me: Like a little Ducky cave.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Why have you taken this sudden interest in my Ducky cave?

Me: No reason.

Ducky:

Me: But we have been looking at other beds.

Ducky: Uh huh.

Me: Different styles.

Ducky: Uh huh.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: There’s this one style that has drawers underneath for storage.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Ducky storage?

Me: No. Clothing storage. Blanket storage. Stuff like that.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That sounds like it would impact leg room. 

Me: A bit. But maybe we could find a different den for you. Like maybe you could hang out in the closet.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Maybe you could store your stupid clothes on the bed and you and The Lady can hang out in the closet.

Me: So you’re saying you would prefer we keep this bed?

Ducky: That is what I am saying. Although if you kept this style I wouldn’t mind you bumping up to King.

Me: More leg room?

Ducky: More leg room.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET! 

Usually a little from column A and a little from column B
Him: How are you at multitasking?
Me: Great. In fact for years I've managed to be both anxious and depressed at the same time.
Instead of doing the assignment I was on tumblr all night.

My blog ate my homework.

They are asymptomatic. All four people in that apartment are asymptomatic.
The Public Information Officer conducting a press conference today and attempting to calm the good people of Dallas. Unfortunately, she was talking to the good people of Dallas who, in attempting to figure out what “asymptomatic” means, will likely decide that it means ebola symptoms are shooting out of the people automatically.
Oh! Secret SERVICE!!!
Congressman: What possible defense can you have for this level of performance?
Secret Service Director Pierson: I maintain that my organization has fulfilled all of the responsibilities central to the mission so clearly articulated by our name.
Congressman: How can you possibly say that?!
Secret Service Director Pierson: You tell me, Congressman. Have you seen stories in the Post about the monkeys? Have constituents contacted you with questions about the big top that may or may not appear on the west lawn late at night? Can you show me evidence of even one clown, much less a whole car full of them, ever visiting the White House since I was put in charge?
Congressman: ...
Secret Service Director Pierson: ...
Congressman: Director Pierson, do you think you're in charge of a Secret CIRCUS?
Secret Service Director Pierson: I can neither confirm nor deny that.
wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?
Me: Yes?
Ducky: Thhhhhhhppt!
Me: Almost done, Ducky.
Ducky: If you thought I was thirsty, I appreciate the thought. But water goes in the Ducky, not on the Ducky.
Me: Not this water.
Ducky: Ah. 
Me: You needed a bath. It’s been weeks.
Ducky: I see. I had not considered that. In that case allow me to reconsider.
Me: …
Ducky: Upon further reflection, thhhhhhhppt, thhhhhhhppt!
Me: Almost done. I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: Thhhhhhhppt!
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?

Me: Yes?

Ducky: Thhhhhhhppt!

Me: Almost done, Ducky.

Ducky: If you thought I was thirsty, I appreciate the thought. But water goes in the Ducky, not on the Ducky.

Me: Not this water.

Ducky: Ah. 

Me: You needed a bath. It’s been weeks.

Ducky: I see. I had not considered that. In that case allow me to reconsider.

Me:

Ducky: Upon further reflection, thhhhhhhppt, thhhhhhhppt!

Me: Almost done. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: Thhhhhhhppt!

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!