Scooter’s really earning her keep on pest patrol!
Last Sunday’s New Ducky Post! Remember, new posts every Sunday at 7:00 pm ET at wellthatsjustducky:
Ducky: You seen the cat?
Me: …
Scooter: …
Ducky: …
Me: No.
Scooter: …
Ducky: She got scared of the vacuum and ran all the way up the stairs. Proverbial “Scaredy Cat” if you will!
Me: …
Scooter: …
Ducky: …
Me: You did the same thing.
Ducky: Incorrect. I went half-way up the stairs. And solely to allow you easy access to the cat hair covered carpet downstairs.
Me: It seems to be mainly dog hair that is getting sucked up.
Scooter: …
Ducky: The cat steals my fur at night and spreads it around the house.
Me: How does she do that, exactly?
Scooter: …
Ducky: Very quietly so as not to wake you.
Me: Clever. But you weren’t scared of the vacuum?
Scooter: …
Ducky: Nope.
Me: Then why were you barking at it?
Scooter: …
Ducky: Ergonomics.
Me: Ergonomics?
Scooter: …
Ducky: You were bending wrong. I was warning you so you wouldn’t injure your back.
Me: Very kind of you. Why don’t you come down now?
Scooter: …
Ducky: You should put the vacuum away first.
Me: Why?
Scooter: …
Ducky: Ergonomics.
Me: That makes no sense.
Scooter: Maybe that’s why you hurt your back.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Scooter: Meow.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ag
Scooter insists she just happened to be there. And she doesn’t know what happened to her white suit. #raylewis
Merry Christmas Eve From Ducky!
Me: It’s almost Christmas, Ducky.
Ducky: Already?
Me: Time flies when you have no sense of it, huh?
Ducky: Oh, geez! I haven’t heard someone bring up that old myth for years.
Me: Three weeks.
Ducky: Really?
Me: Yup.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Time flies.
Me: I see a present under the tree from you for me.
Ducky: Yup.
Me: Thank you.
Ducky: The Lady helped me.
Me: I assumed.
Ducky: I assume there’s a little something for me under there?
Me: Of course. The Lady helped with those too.
Ducky: I assumed. She has proven useful. We should keep her.
Me: That is the plan.
Ducky: The cat can go.
Me: I’m afraid they’re a package deal.
Ducky: …
Me: Like you and me.
Ducky: …
Me: Like a cooler version of you and me?
Ducky: Unless you are comparing yourself to the one of them that’s allowed to poop in a box in the house, I am uncomfortable with the analogy.
Me: Technically they’re both allowed to poop in a box in the house. They Lady just prefers the toilet.
Ducky: …
Me: Just one of the little things I love about her.
Ducky: …
Me: Her preference for toilets over boxes.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: The Lady increases the chances that your dinners don’t get delayed when I work late.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Fine. The cat can stay.
Me: That’s the Christmas spirit!
Ducky: Let’s wrap her.
Me: That’s less festive.
Ducky: Merry Christmas, Daddy.
Me: Merry Christmas, Ducky.
Yesterday’s new Ducky post at wellthatsjustducky:
Me: Missed you, Ducky.
Ducky: Less talking. More head rubbing. You owe me.
Me: I know. We aren’t usually gone overnight. But the Lady’s Sister was here and you like her.
Ducky: She doesn’t like that cat.
Me: I know.
Ducky: That helps me with the liking of her.
Me: I’m sure.
Ducky: You both left me at home for six weeks.
Me: Overnight.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Felt longer.
Me: I think you use the myth just…
Ducky: Did you go to an overnight dog park?
Me: No. We ran in a half marathon.
Ducky: Ah ha! You could have taken me! I love running!
Me: Yes, but you’re more of a sprinter. A half marathon is pretty long.
Ducky: How long?
Me: 13.1 miles.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Is that far?
Me: Yes. It’s a lot further than you have ever gone without needing to sit and rest.
Ducky: What’s the furthest I’ve gone?
Me: Three quarters of a mile.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: That’s not further than 13.1?
Me: No.
Ducky: Sounds further.
Me: Yeah. Words are funny. Short words can describe long distances. You can’t just count syllables.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Am I ever going to need to know what a syllable is or can I move on?
Me: Moving on is probably cool.
Ducky: Maybe I could train? Build up my endurance.
Me: Yeah, I don’t know if that’s safe. And even if you could, they don’t let dogs in people races.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I bet they do if you get me…
Me: For the last time, I am not getting you a vest.
Ducky: Come on!
Me: Those are for helper dogs.
Ducky: I’m helpful!
Me: Not regularly
Ducky: Quisling.
Me: Look, I’m sorry we were away for a night, but I think I’ve made up for it by being down here on the floor and rubbing your head for six weeks.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Didn’t seem that long.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Time flies.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Missed you, Daddy.
Me: Missed you too, Ducky.
Ducky: Love you.
Me: Love you.
Ag
Last Sunday’s New Ducky Post From wellthatsjustducky:
Ducky: New tree?
Me: Yup. The lady brought it from her old house.
Ducky: Smells like the cat.
Me: Scooter used to live in that house, yes.
Ducky: We were looking to further increase the cat stink in here?
Me: It doesn’t smell like cat in here.
Ducky: Acclimation, thy name is human nose.
Me: …
Ducky: See, dogs have good sniffers.
Me: Yes, I know.
Ducky: What was wrong with our old tree?
Me: Remember how it used to fall on you?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: That’s not a Christmas tradition everywhere?
Me: No. Just here.
Ducky: Can’t say I’ll miss it.
Me: Me neither.
Ducky: We should start a new tradition!
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: We are not going to try to make the new tree fall on Scooter.
Ducky: I just want her to feel like part of the family during the cherished holiday season.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: And I enjoy upsetting that cat.
Me: I know you do. But no cat squashing.
Ducky: Okay, Mr. Grinch. I love you.
Me: Love you too, Ducky.
Ag
Remember, new Ducky posts at wellthatsjustducky.tumblr.com every Sunday at 7 pm, ET.
And for all Ducky related posts on WTJG, don’t forget the link on the homepage.
Me: You look happy.
Ducky: Yup!
Me: Why?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Because I am happy?
Me: I know that’s why you look happy. But why are you happy?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I like food.
Me: Dinner’s not for awhile.
Ducky: Yes. But food makes me happy.
Me: So you’re happy now because you’re thinking of food?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Not specifically.
Me: …
Ducky: You do not seem happy, Daddy.
Me: …
Ducky: Isn’t it okay for me to just be happy?
Me: Sure.
Ducky: Good. I think it’s okay for you to be happy too. Even if there’s no reason. You should try it. It’s nice.
Me: That’s a nice idea, Ducky. I am trying to do that when I can.
Ducky: Good.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Where’s Scooter?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: She may be trapped in the closet.
Me: …
Ducky: I may have chased her in there.
Me: …
Ducky: Given this moment of reflection, this may have something to do with my good mood.
Me: …
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ag
