Well, That's Just Great

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Posts tagged with "satire"

Catching Up

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.

Fanboys are gonna’ freak.

Superman FLIES in this film. He couldn’t fly when he first appeared and didn’t officially gain the ability to fly until 1941, nearly two years after his first story.

Way to crap on the sacred heritage of the last son of Krypton, Warner Bastards!

Ag

All Purpose Segue Tumblr Post

Dear Visitor,

Sometimes due to a major event, tumblr content providers feel the need to transition their blogs from their regular content to more serious fare that provides comfort, thoughtful expressions of empathy, or valuable information.

Unfortunately, it can be difficult for those providers to transition back to regular content without appearing insensitive. If you are reading this post it means the owner of this tumblr still understands the seriousness of the event in question but is deciding to move back to normal content. This is not meant as a sign of disrespect, just an acknowledgement that this content provider has nothing more of value to add on this topic and is leaving that job to those more qualified.

This is why the post below this is quite different from the one above. And since this is tumblr, the one above is likely about cats, Doctor Who, Benedict Cumberbatch, K-Pop, or how Emma Watson needs to stop saying that she is proof that “anything can happen if you dream and work hard!”

Yeah. Dream, work hard, and happen to look like someone a billionaire author with creative control over a movie franchise imagined one day while writing. Calm down with the role model schtick, Hermione.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled snark.

(this message provided as a community service by wellthatsjustgreat.tumblr.com)

Well, now I know.
Thanks rumorcontrol and brevetcaptain!
Ag

Well, now I know.

Thanks rumorcontrol and brevetcaptain!

Ag

Yesterday was Good Friday. Tomorrow is Easter. I forget if they ever told us in Sunday School what today was called?

PrEaster?

Evester?

Tease-ster?

Segue-day?

Catching Up

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.

Catching Up

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.
  • Neville Chamberlain: I'm thinking about appeasing Hitler.
  • Me: Be careful. That's how Hitler got started.
  • Her: It's a boy!
  • Me: Be careful. That's how Hitler got started.
  • Her: I'm thinking of taking a painting class.
  • Me: Be careful. That's how Hitler got started.