Rule 1 - Post the rules.
- Done. I have already been successful!!!!!!
Rule 2 - Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then make 11 new ones.
- Meh. Too confusing. Too much work. I’ll answer these though AND YOU’LL LIKE IT!!!!!!!
Rule 3 - Tag 11 people and link them to your post.
- Okay. I’ll do it as long as I don’t have to let them know I’ve tagged them.
Rule 4 - Let them know you’ve tagged them.
- Well, screw that.
My questions for YOU!
- Excellent. I look forward to lying.
1. If you just bought a pet turtle, what would you name it?
- Tortoise. So when someone said, “What’s the name of your turtle?” I could say, “Tortoise!” and then they’d say, “Fine, what’s the name of your tortoise?” and then I’d say, “Turtle,” and then I’d lose another friend.
2. How often do you get your hair cut?
- About every six weeks. I get my body hair permed and colored monthly.
3. What does your favorite pair of underwear look like?
4. How do you like your coffee?
- How I like my women: Picked up at a Dunkin’ Donuts at eight in the morning.
- How I like my women: Picked from the hills of Columbia by Juan Valdez.
- How I like my women: With a pungent aroma and making a gurgling noise that wakes me up in the morning.
5. What is your favorite sleeping position?
- Whatever position I am in when the sobbing stops.
6. What is your number one goal you wish to accomplish in 2013?
- Finish this list of questions. Fingers crossed! If that gets done I move on to the Ducky book!
7. What is your ideal “perfect” day?
- A day of sex with the most beautiful person in the world, but that’s impossible There’s no way to have a day of sex with myself! Ha! Ha, Ha, Ha! I’m just kidding of course. I could masturbate.
8. What do you think makes you more unique than anyone else?
- I bet I’m the only person in the world who tried to think of an answer to that question during a day of sex with myself.
9. Do you like answering questions that people tell you to answer on tumblr?
- Yes. I even wish I could answer them seriously, but that would violate my rule about keeping WTJG interesting to an audience. So I apparently I think my readers find it interesting to imagine me masturbating.
10. What is your most current favorite song?
- Row Row Row Your Boat. When the third person comes in. Sweet.