Well, That's Just Great

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Posts tagged with "prose"

Apr 8
wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Hey, Ducky! Come here.
Ducky: …
Me: Come here, Ducky.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Why?
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Because I love you?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: You can love me from over there.
Me: Saw me pick up the nail clippers, huh?
Ducky: I have keen senses. I noticed the slight change in posture, the variation in tone of voice, your furtive glances, and the slight increase in perspiration.
Me: …
Ducky: And I saw you pick up the nail clippers, yes.
Me: You need a nail clipping.
Ducky: So says you.
Me: And other people.
Ducky: Who? The Lady?
Me: She’s noticed, yes, but there have been others.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: The cat just wants me to suffer.
Me: Scooter has yet to express her opinion on the subject. But we did get a message too.
Ducky: What kind of message? From who?
Me: Someone who reads our conversations on-line. She sent us a note letting us know that she noticed that you needed a nail clipping.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Who does that?!
Me: Someone who cares.
Ducky: The pictures you use aren’t even always current! Whatever picture she saw may have been from months ago.
Me: Quite possibly. But it reminded me to take a look at your nails and you’re definitely due.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: That’s how Hitler got started.
Me: That is in no way how Hitler got started.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I might be having a bit of an anxiety attack.
Me: I’m sorry.
Ducky: See, I don’t know if you are aware of this, but…
Me: You don’t like getting your nails clipped.
Ducky: I do not like getting my nails clipped. Not at all.
Me: I’m sorry, Ducky. But how about you get a treat after we’re done?
Ducky: How about we get me a treat instead?
Me: ‘Fraid not. I’m sorry. But a treat afterwards I can do.
Ducky: …
Me: Or two.
Ducky: Okay.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Want a special “paw-tographed” copy of our book, "Well, That’s Just Ducky! A Dog Is Man’s Best Therapist?" Head over to wellthats.com  for information on that and on links to all the places you can order our first book! And keep visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Hey, Ducky! Come here.

Ducky: …

Me: Come here, Ducky.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Why?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Because I love you?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: You can love me from over there.

Me: Saw me pick up the nail clippers, huh?

Ducky: I have keen senses. I noticed the slight change in posture, the variation in tone of voice, your furtive glances, and the slight increase in perspiration.

Me:

Ducky: And I saw you pick up the nail clippers, yes.

Me: You need a nail clipping.

Ducky: So says you.

Me: And other people.

Ducky: Who? The Lady?

Me: She’s noticed, yes, but there have been others.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: The cat just wants me to suffer.

Me: Scooter has yet to express her opinion on the subject. But we did get a message too.

Ducky: What kind of message? From who?

Me: Someone who reads our conversations on-line. She sent us a note letting us know that she noticed that you needed a nail clipping.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Who does that?!

Me: Someone who cares.

Ducky: The pictures you use aren’t even always current! Whatever picture she saw may have been from months ago.

Me: Quite possibly. But it reminded me to take a look at your nails and you’re definitely due.

Ducky: …

Me:

Ducky: That’s how Hitler got started.

Me: That is in no way how Hitler got started.

Ducky:

Me: 

Ducky: I might be having a bit of an anxiety attack.

Me: I’m sorry.

Ducky: See, I don’t know if you are aware of this, but…

Me: You don’t like getting your nails clipped.

Ducky: I do not like getting my nails clipped. Not at all.

Me: I’m sorry, Ducky. But how about you get a treat after we’re done?

Ducky: How about we get me a treat instead?

Me: ‘Fraid not. I’m sorry. But a treat afterwards I can do.

Ducky:

Me: Or two.

Ducky: Okay.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Want a special “paw-tographed” copy of our book, "Well, That’s Just Ducky! A Dog Is Man’s Best Therapist?" Head over to wellthats.com  for information on that and on links to all the places you can order our first book! And keep visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Don’t talk to me.
Me: You’re going to feel so much better!
Ducky: You always say that.
Me: You seem to always need the reminder.
Ducky: I wouldn’t say I need a reminder. You seem to need a rationalization for regularly water boarding me.
Me: I am not water boarding you.
Ducky: That’s for the courts to decide.
Me: Do you even know what water boarding is?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I believe water is involved…
Me: …
Ducky: …and it is unpleasant…
Me: …
Ducky: and it involves unwilling participation. So…
Me: There’s more to it than that.
Ducky: I know. You also use soap.
Me: No. I mean…
Ducky: Doggie torture!
Me: Stop. It’s just a bath. And you’ve been itchy.
Ducky: I don’t recall telling you that I’ve been itchy.
Me: You’ve given subtle visual cues.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: The constant scratching?
Me: The constant scratching.
Ducky: I’d hoped you hadn’t noticed.
Me: Almost done, Duck. Just need to let the soap soak in a little. Hey you know what could help pass the time?
Ducky: Filing affidavits?
Me: There’s a Ducky song about baths!
Ducky: …
Me: My parents used to sing it to me!
Ducky: …
Me: I could sing it to you. Carry on the tradition for another generation!
Ducky: Don’t…
Me: Rubber Ducky, you’re the one! You make bath time lots of fun!
Ducky: Is singing the thing that makes it water boarding?
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Want a special “paw-tographed” copy of our book, "Well, That’s Just Ducky! A Dog Is Man’s Best Therapist?" Head over to wellthats.com  for information on that and on links to all the places you can order our first book! And keep visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Don’t talk to me.

Me: You’re going to feel so much better!

Ducky: You always say that.

Me: You seem to always need the reminder.

Ducky: I wouldn’t say I need a reminder. You seem to need a rationalization for regularly water boarding me.

Me: I am not water boarding you.

Ducky: That’s for the courts to decide.

Me: Do you even know what water boarding is?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I believe water is involved…

Me:

Ducky: …and it is unpleasant…

Me:

Ducky: and it involves unwilling participation. So…

Me: There’s more to it than that.

Ducky: I know. You also use soap.

Me: No. I mean…

Ducky: Doggie torture!

Me: Stop. It’s just a bath. And you’ve been itchy.

Ducky: I don’t recall telling you that I’ve been itchy.

Me: You’ve given subtle visual cues.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: The constant scratching?

Me: The constant scratching.

Ducky: I’d hoped you hadn’t noticed.

Me: Almost done, Duck. Just need to let the soap soak in a little. Hey you know what could help pass the time?

Ducky: Filing affidavits?

Me: There’s a Ducky song about baths!

Ducky:

Me: My parents used to sing it to me!

Ducky:

Me: I could sing it to you. Carry on the tradition for another generation!

Ducky: Don’t…

Me: Rubber Ducky, you’re the one! You make bath time lots of fun!

Ducky: Is singing the thing that makes it water boarding?

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Want a special “paw-tographed” copy of our book, "Well, That’s Just Ducky! A Dog Is Man’s Best Therapist?" Head over to wellthats.com  for information on that and on links to all the places you can order our first book! And keep visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: You feeling okay, Ducky?
Ducky: Sure. Just tired.
Me: No more than usual?
Ducky: No. Why?
Me: I just worry about you. Want to make sure you’re okay. Don’t want to assume.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Did something happen?
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Do you remember me telling you about Daisy?
Ducky: The doggie that lives with Grandma and Grandpa?
Me: Yeah. Well, I just found out that she passed away.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: That makes me sad.
Me: Me too.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Didn’t you tell me that Grandma and Grandpa saved Daisy?
Me: Yeah. Daisy was living with some people who weren’t treating her well. Hurting her. And when there was an opportunity to get her out of that situation, they did.
Ducky: Is that what all humans would do?
Me: No. Not all.
Ducky: Lucky for Daisy that your parents were around.
Me: Yeah.
Ducky: And were in the market for a doggie!
Me: Ha. No. No, I don’t think they particularly wanted a doggie at all at that point.
Ducky: But they still did it?
Me: Yeah.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: How long ago was that?
Me: I really don’t remember. A lot of years.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Did they treat her better?
Me: They treated her wonderfully. They loved her very much.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I’m glad they found her. And gave her a lot of good years.
Me: Me too.
Ducky: A lot of doggies don’t ever get that.
Me: No. No they don’t.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky:  But it’s still okay that you’re sad.
Me: I know.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I’m glad you found me.
Me: I’m glad we found each other.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Walks keep me healthy.
Me: Yes they do.
Ducky: Want to go for a walk and you can tell me more about Daisy? And maybe we can talk about Foley too?
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: That sounds like a very good idea. 
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you very much, Ducky.
Thanks for visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: You feeling okay, Ducky?

Ducky: Sure. Just tired.

Me: No more than usual?

Ducky: No. Why?

Me: I just worry about you. Want to make sure you’re okay. Don’t want to assume.

Ducky:

Me: …

Ducky: Did something happen?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Do you remember me telling you about Daisy?

Ducky: The doggie that lives with Grandma and Grandpa?

Me: Yeah. Well, I just found out that she passed away.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That makes me sad.

Me: Me too.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Didn’t you tell me that Grandma and Grandpa saved Daisy?

Me: Yeah. Daisy was living with some people who weren’t treating her well. Hurting her. And when there was an opportunity to get her out of that situation, they did.

Ducky: Is that what all humans would do?

Me: No. Not all.

Ducky: Lucky for Daisy that your parents were around.

Me: Yeah.

Ducky: And were in the market for a doggie!

Me: Ha. No. No, I don’t think they particularly wanted a doggie at all at that point.

Ducky: But they still did it?

Me: Yeah.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How long ago was that?

Me: I really don’t remember. A lot of years.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Did they treat her better?

Me: They treated her wonderfully. They loved her very much.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I’m glad they found her. And gave her a lot of good years.

Me: Me too.

Ducky: A lot of doggies don’t ever get that.

Me: No. No they don’t.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky:  But it’s still okay that you’re sad.

Me: I know.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I’m glad you found me.

Me: I’m glad we found each other.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Walks keep me healthy.

Me: Yes they do.

Ducky: Want to go for a walk and you can tell me more about Daisy? And maybe we can talk about Foley too?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: That sounds like a very good idea. 

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you very much, Ducky.

Thanks for visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

The new post from yesterday over at wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.How’s the book coming?
Me: We should be able to order a proof this week.
Ducky: …
Me: Good. Things are coming good.
Ducky: Good. 
Me: I thought this would be a good week for us to write one of the posts that people earned by contributing.
Ducky: Write one of the what that who earned by how now?
Me: Sandy from Pennsylvania contributed to our campaign and we agreed to write a post on the topic of her choosing.
Ducky:  We?
Me: I agreed that we would do it.
Ducky: Any other contractual obligations to which you have committed me?
Me: Several. But let’s focus on this for now.
Ducky: I don’t even know this “Sandy.”
Me: Not to worry. She gave us a couple of options and one of them is to talk about how you feel about cats! 
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: And the other option?
Me: Come on! Cats!
Ducky: I do not like cats. End of post. How much did she pay for that?
Me: Come on. Maybe we could delve into why you don’t like cats. Learn something new. Gain some insight into the root causes of cat and dog dysfunction.
Ducky: …
Me: ...
Ducky: I am not interested in providing free publicity to my nemeses.
Me: Technically she paid so it’s not free…
Ducky: What is the other option?
Me: I don’t think it’s a good choice for you.
Ducky: I keep telling you I’m smarter than you give me credit for. I can wax philosophical on any number of topics. Let’s hear it.
Me: The Alabama Crimson Tide.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Okay.
Me: Have any clarifying questions?
Ducky: A few.  First, what is an “Alabama Crimson Tide.”
Me: It’s what they call the football team at the University of Alabama. I guess the other sports teams too.
Ducky: Uh huh. What does crimson mean?
Me: It’s a kind of red.
Ducky: And I have a follow-up…
Me: A tide is what the ocean does.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: So it’s like their mascot?
Me: Kind of. But they sort of have a mascot too.
Ducky: …
Me: It’s an elephant.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: A red elephant in the ocean?
Me: No. No. Just an elephant.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Cats punch me in the face and sit on the couch and hiss at me for no good reason. 
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Ag

The new post from yesterday over at wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.How’s the book coming?

Me: We should be able to order a proof this week.

Ducky:

Me: Good. Things are coming good.

Ducky: Good. 

Me: I thought this would be a good week for us to write one of the posts that people earned by contributing.

Ducky: Write one of the what that who earned by how now?

Me: Sandy from Pennsylvania contributed to our campaign and we agreed to write a post on the topic of her choosing.

Ducky:  We?

Me: I agreed that we would do it.

Ducky: Any other contractual obligations to which you have committed me?

Me: Several. But let’s focus on this for now.

Ducky: I don’t even know this “Sandy.”

Me: Not to worry. She gave us a couple of options and one of them is to talk about how you feel about cats! 

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: And the other option?

Me: Come on! Cats!

Ducky: I do not like cats. End of post. How much did she pay for that?

Me: Come on. Maybe we could delve into why you don’t like cats. Learn something new. Gain some insight into the root causes of cat and dog dysfunction.

Ducky:

Me: ...

Ducky: I am not interested in providing free publicity to my nemeses.

Me: Technically she paid so it’s not free…

Ducky: What is the other option?

Me: I don’t think it’s a good choice for you.

Ducky: I keep telling you I’m smarter than you give me credit for. I can wax philosophical on any number of topics. Let’s hear it.

Me: The Alabama Crimson Tide.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Okay.

Me: Have any clarifying questions?

Ducky: A few.  First, what is an “Alabama Crimson Tide.”

Me: It’s what they call the football team at the University of Alabama. I guess the other sports teams too.

Ducky: Uh huh. What does crimson mean?

Me: It’s a kind of red.

Ducky: And I have a follow-up…

Me: A tide is what the ocean does.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: So it’s like their mascot?

Me: Kind of. But they sort of have a mascot too.

Ducky:

Me: It’s an elephant.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: A red elephant in the ocean?

Me: No. No. Just an elephant.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Cats punch me in the face and sit on the couch and hiss at me for no good reason

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag

This week's new Ducky post! And the first one written for a contributor!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: You look happy, Ducky!
Ducky: I am! Thanks for making it cooler in here!
Me: You’re welcome. But I didn’t really do it. Summer just ended. Finally.
Ducky: Well, thanks for not stopping summer from ending!
Me: I always appreciate your steadfast faith in my omnipotence. At least when good things happen.
Ducky: You look happy too!
Me: Yeah. I had a good week.
Ducky: That’s rare.
Me: Probably not as rare as I let myself believe. But this week really was good. And I’m going to let myself be happy about it.
Ducky: Good.
Me: But this is the best part of my week.
Ducky: Lying on the floor?
Me: With you. Yup.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Maybe your weeks really aren’t that great.
Me: No, Duck. I’ve just reached the point that I know what really makes me happy. I know what matters. And I forget sometime, and sometimes I let things that aren’t important to me upset me. But I’ve gotten better at letting myself enjoy the moments that matter.
Ducky: …
Me: Like lying on the floor with my best buddy.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Does rubbing my head and belly matter?
Me: It makes you happy. So it matters a lot.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you, Ducky.

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: You look happy, Ducky!

Ducky: I am! Thanks for making it cooler in here!

Me: You’re welcome. But I didn’t really do it. Summer just ended. Finally.

Ducky: Well, thanks for not stopping summer from ending!

Me: I always appreciate your steadfast faith in my omnipotence. At least when good things happen.

Ducky: You look happy too!

Me: Yeah. I had a good week.

Ducky: That’s rare.

Me: Probably not as rare as I let myself believe. But this week really was good. And I’m going to let myself be happy about it.

Ducky: Good.

Me: But this is the best part of my week.

Ducky: Lying on the floor?

Me: With you. Yup.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Maybe your weeks really aren’t that great.

Me: No, Duck. I’ve just reached the point that I know what really makes me happy. I know what matters. And I forget sometime, and sometimes I let things that aren’t important to me upset me. But I’ve gotten better at letting myself enjoy the moments that matter.

Ducky:

Me: Like lying on the floor with my best buddy.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Does rubbing my head and belly matter?

Me: It makes you happy. So it matters a lot.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky has a cunning and subtle plan...

Yesterday’s new Ducky post!

And remember, two weeks left to help make Ducky’s book a reality!

Ag

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: You okay up there, Ducky?
Ducky: Yup.
Me: Then why don’t you come down?
Ducky: You done yanking out my fur?
Me: Brushing.
Ducky: Really? That’s a brush?
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Technically it’s called a shedding blade.
Ducky: Shockingly I’d prefer to not come down and let you continue to “blade” me.
Me: Suit yourself. Doggies get treats after brushings.
Ducky: Doggies get treats from The Lady when the Daddy isn’t looking.
Me: What?
Ducky: I said, “I love you, Daddy!”
Me: …
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ag

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: You okay up there, Ducky?

Ducky: Yup.

Me: Then why don’t you come down?

Ducky: You done yanking out my fur?

Me: Brushing.

Ducky: Really? That’s a brush?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Technically it’s called a shedding blade.

Ducky: Shockingly I’d prefer to not come down and let you continue to “blade” me.

Me: Suit yourself. Doggies get treats after brushings.

Ducky: Doggies get treats from The Lady when the Daddy isn’t looking.

Me: What?

Ducky: I said, “I love you, Daddy!”

Me:

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ag

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Why are you looking at me like that?
Ducky: Don’t do it.
Me: Don’t do what?
Ducky: I can tell when you’re up to something and I know what it is.
Me: You’re being silly.
Ducky: Uh huh.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: You like your wood patch?
Ducky: Yes.
Me: Nice and cool?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I’m comfy. Don’t do it.
Me: Don’t do what? I’m not doing anything. I just think it’s cute that when it gets warm in here you lie on that patch of wood paneling in front of the door to stay cool.
Ducky: …
Me: That’s all.
Ducky: …
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: …
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: You know baths can help a dog cool dow…
Ducky: Nooooooooooo!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Why are you looking at me like that?

Ducky: Don’t do it.

Me: Don’t do what?

Ducky: I can tell when you’re up to something and I know what it is.

Me: You’re being silly.

Ducky: Uh huh.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: You like your wood patch?

Ducky: Yes.

Me: Nice and cool?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I’m comfy. Don’t do it.

Me: Don’t do what? I’m not doing anything. I just think it’s cute that when it gets warm in here you lie on that patch of wood paneling in front of the door to stay cool.

Ducky:

Me: That’s all.

Ducky:

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky:

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: You know baths can help a dog cool dow…

Ducky: Nooooooooooo!

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post! Remember to follow wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7:00pm ET.

I’m afraid there’s no new Ducky post this week. There have been some home owner near disasters at “Well That’s Just A House” that have been a bit all consuming. We promise to be up and running again next week. Thanks for understanding!
Me: Okay, Ducky. I explained to the internet people. Now give me that adjustable wrench.
Ducky: It’s a bad solenoid.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: I know it’s probably a bad solenoid, but right now we need to stop the water from flooding the neighborhood.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: So sandbags. Sandbags would be better than a wrench.
Me: Ducky…
Ducky: Right tool for the right job, that’s what I always say.
Me: You’ve never said that.
Ducky: I’ve never said half the things you say I say but…
Me: Give me the wrench.
Ducky: Hey, doesn’t this kind of count as a post? Becau…
Me: GIVE ME THE WRENCH!!!!!
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: …
Ducky: I loooooooooove you, Daddy!
Me: I love you, Ducky.

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post! Remember to follow wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7:00pm ET.

I’m afraid there’s no new Ducky post this week. There have been some home owner near disasters at “Well That’s Just A House” that have been a bit all consuming. We promise to be up and running again next week. Thanks for understanding!

Me: Okay, Ducky. I explained to the internet people. Now give me that adjustable wrench.

Ducky: It’s a bad solenoid.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: I know it’s probably a bad solenoid, but right now we need to stop the water from flooding the neighborhood.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: So sandbags. Sandbags would be better than a wrench.

Me: Ducky…

Ducky: Right tool for the right job, that’s what I always say.

Me: You’ve never said that.

Ducky: I’ve never said half the things you say I say but…

Me: Give me the wrench.

Ducky: Hey, doesn’t this kind of count as a post? Becau…

Me: GIVE ME THE WRENCH!!!!!

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me:

Ducky: I loooooooooove you, Daddy!

Me: I love you, Ducky.