Dear Restaurant I Chose for Lunch
Thank you for providing television entertainment.
Next time could you tune to a channel that ISN’T showing animal surgeries?
Hugs and kisses,
Apparently I eat lunch A LOT earlier than everyone else.
My friend and I appear to be eating in two different time zones.
You know why I like going to Qdoba for lunch? I like a meal that is the size, shape, and has the actual tactile feel of a human stomach.
Apparently my lunch is safe from microwaves, rain bouncing off of forks and soup cans, blizzards, and cubist reinterpretations of “American Gothic!”