Well, That's Just Great
Kohler has a new touchless toilet. You flush it by waving your hand over the tank.
Yes. I’m sure that’s what I’d wave over the tank to flush it.
My hand.

Ag

Kohler has a new touchless toilet. You flush it by waving your hand over the tank.

Yes. I’m sure that’s what I’d wave over the tank to flush it.

My hand.

Ag

International Talk Like a Pirate Day 2014

There’s still time to celebrate International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Try working these phrases into conversation tonight!

  • Excuse me. Could you direct towards the port? My ship is set to sail presently.
  • So sorry that I can’t keep up. Afraid my wooden leg is a skosh loose today and it’s hindering my ability to maintain a consistent pace on this constitutional.
  • Dearest Mildred. Thank you ever so much for the case of limes. I feel confident they shall keep my scurvy at bay.
  • I don’t know, Trevor. Maybe you’re a pirate because your dad was a pirate. Maybe that’s why I’m one too but all that matters is what you want right now. Do you want to be a pirate or do you want to study dance? They’re both right decisions,Trevor, but I can’t decide for you. Yo-ho-yo-ho. This life may not be for you.

On a related note, fuck you and your stereotypical assumptions about pirate diction.

Ag

I think we can all agree that this made downloading iOS 8 totally worth it. 

Ag

I think we can all agree that this made downloading iOS 8 totally worth it.

Ag

Our motto: We’re less dangerous but we try to hurt you harder.
Ag

Our motto: We’re less dangerous but we try to hurt you harder.

Ag

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: It’s dinnertime!
Me: No it’s not, Ducky.
Ducky: Yes it is!
Me: Afraid not.
Ducky: I specifically heard you say “Dinnertime!”
Me: The Lady and I are going out for a little bit. I said to her that we need to be home by dinnertime.
Ducky: There it is again! Two dinnertimes! Double foods!!!
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: I think you’re confused about how dinnertime works.
Ducky: Three-sies!
Me: But that’s pretty good counting for a dog.
Ducky: You say, “Dinnertime!” and then you get up and scoop my food into my bowl. Every time.
Me: I say it to announce that it’s dinnertime…
Ducky: Four! Better get started!
Me: Saying, “Dinnertime!” acknowledges dinnertime. It doesn’t trigger dinnertime.
Ducky: I’m going to need a bigger collar.
Me: It’s noon, Ducky. I’m sorry I said that word.
Ducky: What word?
Me: …
Ducky: I may be hungry.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: It’s dinnertime!

Me: No it’s not, Ducky.

Ducky: Yes it is!

Me: Afraid not.

Ducky: I specifically heard you say “Dinnertime!”

Me: The Lady and I are going out for a little bit. I said to her that we need to be home by dinnertime.

Ducky: There it is again! Two dinnertimes! Double foods!!!

Me:

Ducky:

Me: I think you’re confused about how dinnertime works.

Ducky: Three-sies!

Me: But that’s pretty good counting for a dog.

Ducky: You say, “Dinnertime!” and then you get up and scoop my food into my bowl. Every time.

Me: I say it to announce that it’s dinnertime…

Ducky: Four! Better get started!

Me: Saying, “Dinnertime!” acknowledges dinnertime. It doesn’t trigger dinnertime.

Ducky: I’m going to need a bigger collar.

Me: It’s noon, Ducky. I’m sorry I said that word.

Ducky: What word?

Me:

Ducky: I may be hungry.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Dinnertime!

nyctaeus:

This crater, 'The Sedan Crater', remains from the Plowshares program, the purpose of which was to test the peaceful use of nuclear explosions. The operating hypothesis was that a nuclear explosion could easily excavate a large area, facilitating the building of canals and roads, improving mining techniques, or simply moving a large amount of rock and soil. The intensity and distribution of radiation proved too great, and the program was abandoned. The “Sedan” device was thermonuclear—70 percent fusion, 30 percent fission—with a yield of 100 kilotons. The crater is an impressive 635 feet deep and 1,280 feet wide. The weight of the material lifted was 12 million tons.[Taken from the book Nuclear Landscapes, by Peter Goin]

And I took this shot from Jabba’s skiff…

nyctaeus:

This crater, 'The Sedan Crater', remains from the Plowshares program, the purpose of which was to test the peaceful use of nuclear explosions. The operating hypothesis was that a nuclear explosion could easily excavate a large area, facilitating the building of canals and roads, improving mining techniques, or simply moving a large amount of rock and soil. The intensity and distribution of radiation proved too great, and the program was abandoned. The “Sedan” device was thermonuclear—70 percent fusion, 30 percent fission—with a yield of 100 kilotons. The crater is an impressive 635 feet deep and 1,280 feet wide. The weight of the material lifted was 12 million tons.
[Taken from the book Nuclear Landscapes, by Peter Goin]

And I took this shot from Jabba’s skiff…

I know it looks like a horribly inept phishing attempt, but actually Smething Roryds is my stage name. 

Or to be more accurate, IT WILL BE FROM NOW ON!!!!

I know it looks like a horribly inept phishing attempt, but actually Smething Roryds is my stage name.

Or to be more accurate, IT WILL BE FROM NOW ON!!!!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.
Me: Yes, Ducky?
Ducky: Wanna’ play?
Me: Maybe later.
Ducky: Okie dokie.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Hey, Da…
Me: Later than that, Duck.
Ducky: Ah.
Me: …
Ducky: How much later?
Me: Maybe after the game is over. So like two hours.
Ducky: Ah! Good! Two hours.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Hey, Da…
Me: It hasn’t been two hours yet.
Ducky: No way to know. Lost my watch.
Me: You have no watch. Nor sense of time.
Ducky: That’s a myth.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: How about now? Two hours yet? The sun seems lower in the sky.
Me: We’re inside.
Ducky: Ah. That’s a lamp.
Me: … 
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Sooooooo…
Me: Fine. How about I throw your tugger a bit during the game? If you bring it back I’ll keep throwing it.
Ducky: Multitasking! Easier for dogs with thumbs!
Me: Humans.
Ducky: You have a right to be called whatever you want to be called. No skin off my nose.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: Wanna’ play?

Me: Maybe later.

Ducky: Okie dokie.

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Hey, Da…

Me: Later than that, Duck.

Ducky: Ah.

Me:

Ducky: How much later?

Me: Maybe after the game is over. So like two hours.

Ducky: Ah! Good! Two hours.

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Hey, Da…

Me: It hasn’t been two hours yet.

Ducky: No way to know. Lost my watch.

Me: You have no watch. Nor sense of time.

Ducky: That’s a myth.

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How about now? Two hours yet? The sun seems lower in the sky.

Me: We’re inside.

Ducky: Ah. That’s a lamp.

Me: … 

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Sooooooo…

Me: Fine. How about I throw your tugger a bit during the game? If you bring it back I’ll keep throwing it.

Ducky: Multitasking! Easier for dogs with thumbs!

Me: Humans.

Ducky: You have a right to be called whatever you want to be called. No skin off my nose.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!