Well, That's Just Great

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Posts tagged with "lol"

Look, folks,

If that “Ass Asians” picture doesn’t start getting reblogged I officially give up on trying to figure out what the hell the internet wants from me!

Masked or unmasked, it’s hard to believe the “Ass Asians” never won tag team gold. 

On a related note, “Print Shop” combined with a dot matrix printer made some awesome posters back in the day…unfortunately it was also back in the day before spell check. 
And on yet another related note, the WWE Network is entertaining on about five different levels at once!

Masked or unmasked, it’s hard to believe the “Ass Asians” never won tag team gold.

On a related note, “Print Shop” combined with a dot matrix printer made some awesome posters back in the day…unfortunately it was also back in the day before spell check.

And on yet another related note, the WWE Network is entertaining on about five different levels at once!

"When you need a loan, we hope you’ll consider Banco De Ducha: serving the banking needs of Spanish douchebags since 1965!"

"When you need a loan, we hope you’ll consider Banco De Ducha: serving the banking needs of Spanish douchebags since 1965!"

I couldn’t figure out why all of the Orlando Magic players had the number zero on their warm ups. I was trying to figure out if a former Magic player was zero and maybe he died tragically last year unbeknownst to me. 

But I just figured out what looks a lot like a zero. 

The letter “O.”  

#idiot (at Amway Center)

I couldn’t figure out why all of the Orlando Magic players had the number zero on their warm ups. I was trying to figure out if a former Magic player was zero and maybe he died tragically last year unbeknownst to me.

But I just figured out what looks a lot like a zero.

The letter “O.”

#idiot (at Amway Center)

So the local grocery chain has obviously initiated a new customer service initiative.

For the last few months at check out every cashier has made at least one random, unnecessary observation or asked one needless question about something I have bought.

Today the cashier looked at my pizza dough and asked, “So, making pizza tonight?”

Last week it was, “Going on a trip?” as she scanned a few travel size toiletries. 

I have a limited amount of patience with the whole “Turn every transaction into a relationship building opportunity” philosophy that is infiltrating the hospitality and retail sectors. I want efficiency at the register, not speed dating. But it’s cheaper, quicker, and easier to train people to start inane chit chat than it is to train them to ring more quickly. So the philosophy will continue to prove popular. 

But I’d rather light a candle that curse the darkness so allow me to provide a few handy conversation starters for my friends at the grocery store that are a bit more robust than the weak attempts I’ve had lobbed at me recently.

  • Hey, you’re buying cranberry juice! I just bought some last night because of my persistent urinary tract infections. Do you have a urinary tract infection?
  • Lactaid milk, eh? So does your lactose intolerance manifest itself through cramping and general discomfort or does it consistently yield explosive diarrhea? It gives my brother explosive diarrhea. Does it give you or someone you love explosive diarrhea?
  • Lots of Pampers you have here! Do you have a newborn at home or are you possibly some sort of caregiver for an incontinent relative with dwarfism?
  • Bananas. Zucchini. Dill pickles. Popsicles. Did you notice that a lot of your foods are penis shaped? Not like perfectly shaped like penises, but certainly penile reminiscent.

Anyone else have any suggestions that I can share with them?

Facebook is exploring the capabilities of vr technology.

So in ten years you’ll be able to be pissed off about how Facebook has screwed up your news feed again but now you’ll be pissed off in 3D!!!

bailzorz:

Playing princess chutes and ladders with the girls I babysit. They give me the Cinderella player and say, “You can have this one. She looks like a dirty man.”

Why is Fred Armisen wearing a ball gown?

bailzorz:

Playing princess chutes and ladders with the girls I babysit. They give me the Cinderella player and say, “You can have this one. She looks like a dirty man.”

Why is Fred Armisen wearing a ball gown?

binovack:

 

"I said to my French fries."

binovack:

 

"I said to my French fries."

My microwave popcorn popping experience always yields one of two results: bagful of charred, smoky ex-popcorn or ten properly popped pieces in a sea of slightly warm in popped kernels

Jiffy Pop should be rebranded “Salted Disappointment.”

Ag

You can never laugh too much or have too many orgasms.

- Michael Faudet  (via michaelfaudet)

FYI: This rule does not apply at job interviews.

I really wanted to be a funeral director too.

Ag