I should explain, that’s a wrestling event.
I’m not staring at the toilet.
Remember, no flushing of entire rolls of toilet paper, toothbrushes, McDonald’s milkshakes in their cups with lids and straws, or chastity belts. (at Freedom Of The Seas)
|—||A husband to his wife at the dinner table next to us on the cruise. A husband who both fails to grasp the subtle intricacies of comedy and who, it would appear, is used to hearing laughs when he whips out his pecker.|
It was smaller than I expected.
I think I’ve fucked over everyone who has ever played 20 Questions with me.
Me: She’s not going to give you any.
Me: You can’t have ice cream.
Ducky: This doesn’t concern you.
Me: Stare at her all you want. You’re not getting ice cream.
Ducky: I’m not staring. We’re communicating. I’m conveying my desire for ice cream and she is considering how much to give me.
Me: Looks a lot like staring.
Ducky: To the layman.
Me: She doesn’t seem to be giving you ice cream.
Ducky: She might be stupid.
Ducky: Am I not making it clear that I would like ice cream?
Me: I could tell. She probably can too. She is just choosing to not give you any.
Ducky: If that was true it would mean she was a very cruel lady. You may want to think such horrible things about The Lady. I do not.
Ducky: I choose to think she is stupid.
Me: How nice of you.
Ducky: Thank you.
Me: That was sarcasm.
Ducky: So was my “thank you.”
Ducky: The stupid seems to be spreading in this house.
Me: Hungry grumpies, Ducky?
Ducky: Maybe a bit. She’s almost done with the ice cream.
Me: Yeah. Would you like one of your treats?
Ducky: That’s a stupid question.
Ducky: See? That was a call back. Three is f…
Me: Yes. Very clever. I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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I knew a guy who had Sisyphus. He said it burned like hell when he peed.
On an unrelated note, in high school I failed both Greek Mythology and Sex Ed.