My tour of increasingly Kubrickian hotels continues. #kubrick #shining (at Courtyard by Marriott Kingwood)
Aaron Green: This is the longest hallway of all time!
Aldous Snow: It’s Kubrickian! (at Harrah’s Hotel & Casino)
Looking back, this is one of the first times I shared an example of my social anxiety, although I didn’t recognize it as such. Ag
I went to Best Buy today.
Everything in bold was actually said out loud as I was at the register. Everything in italics was said in my head.
Her: Is this an old movie?
Me: Oh, God. Yes.
Her: Is it a scary movie?
Me: Is “A Clockwork Orange” a scary movie? Like what she means by a “scary movie?” Um, kinda. I like the director.
Her: Do you like scary movies?
Me: No. But I said this was kinda scary and I’m buying it. Ugh. Not necessarily. I like Stanley Kubrick.
Me: Nevermind. Nevermind.
Her: So what’s the best movie you’ve seen?
Me: Really? Wow. Well, she’s trying. And this is a good opportunity to expand her horizons, a chance to get her to think about a great film she’s never seen. Um, I guess…
Her: Like a NEW movie.
Me: Oh, um… Can I still say “All About Eve”? No. Crap!
Her: Like what’s the last really good movie you saw?
Me: Last good new movie? Oh! “Moon” was really excellent. Oh! “Moon” was really excellent. Oh, jeez…
Me: Moon. Abort! It was only here for a little while. Stop talking, you fool! It was an independent film with Sam Rockwe…nevermind.
Her: What film?
Me: OH! “Up!” “Up” was excellent. Made me cry and was very funny too!
Her: "Up?" You mean the cartoon?
Me: Ugh! The Pixar film? The animated feature? Do I go ahead and sound like a pompous ass and correct her? No. …yes…the cartoon.
Me: Oh, good Lord! So what’s the best movie you’ve seen recently?
Her: Um…The Madea movie was really funny.
Me: … Um…
Me: Uh huh.
Me: Well, you have a good day now.
Her: You too.
I don’t know who invented the “Coke Freestyle” machine but I feel confident they never stood behind the average American at a regular soda fountain. We can’t efficiently manage eight choices, much less 800.
The customers who are confronted with the machines at most places I visit interact with them the way the proto-human hominids at the beginning of “2001: A Space Odyssey” interacted with the monolith. They’re scared and tentative at first, then have a moment of clarity, and finally club the manager with their cup before throwing it in the air accompanied with a mighty yawp!
This is brilliant. Kubrick would be proud.
1969, David Bowman, 2001 A Space Odyssey, Keir Dullea.
2012, Tony Stark, Avengers, Robert Downey jr.
7. Weirdest Thing That Ever Made You Horny:
Shelly Duvall In “The Shining.”
11. We were about to _________ but then __________ [example: we were about go have sex but then his mom walked in]
We were about to ROCK but then WE WERE SALUTED.
27. Worst sexual idea you ever had.