Well, That's Just Great
They’ll make the earth…move…under your feet. #literally

They’ll make the earth…move…under your feet. #literally

wellthatsjustgreat:

Now working this into my regular rotation. I am nothing if not classy. Ag

wellthatsjustgreat:

Now working this into my regular rotation. I am nothing if not classy. Ag

So Gizmo and I went for a bike ride today.

I was in front and my bike lock cable came flying out of my saddle bag right at Gizmo.

There are parts of me that I am proud of. Like the part that was sincerely concerned about her well being.

But there are other parts. Like the part that caused me to yell, “MARIO KART, BITCH!!!!!!!!!”

Ducky continues to “help” with my yoga.

I’m a secretive bastard. I would never let anybody watch me painting … it would be like somebody watching you have sex—painting is that personal to me.

Andrew Wyeth (via apoetreflects)

  • It would be the same for me. Of course I paint with my penis.
  • It would be the same for me. When I’m done with painting I also feel great shame at the results of all of my efforts.
  • It would be the same for me. But perhaps that because both when painting and when having sex I wear the same thing: a smock and a respiration mask.
#JohnnyFootball

#JohnnyFootball

Two slices, please.
Her: Do you have a problem with dairy products?
Me: Well, I'm lactose intolerant, but that's going to be more of a problem for you than for me.
I knew my Coke was tasting a little light on cyan and magenta. #PepsiJamInTray2

I knew my Coke was tasting a little light on cyan and magenta. #PepsiJamInTray2

I guess if I was in charge of marketing for Burger King I might also lie and try to convince people it is the kind of place that serves food on real china, in real glasses, and in cute wire baskets. 

Because if “truth in advertising” is the other option,  “Burger King: Where Your Farts Can Get That One-Of-A-Kind ‘I Ate Onion Rings Yesterday’ Smell!” is hard to make work on in-store promo images. #bk  (at Burger King)

I guess if I was in charge of marketing for Burger King I might also lie and try to convince people it is the kind of place that serves food on real china, in real glasses, and in cute wire baskets.

Because if “truth in advertising” is the other option, “Burger King: Where Your Farts Can Get That One-Of-A-Kind ‘I Ate Onion Rings Yesterday’ Smell!” is hard to make work on in-store promo images. #bk (at Burger King)

And we have veal…which is a baby cow.
Our server on the cruise, apparently unaware that the whole reason the word “veal” exists is so that people don’t have to say, “I’ll have the baby cow.”