Things associated with my flight that sound vaguely dirty.
Upright and locked position.
Bag check.
Descent into Charlotte.
Ag
“But he was cut back in February after a series of incidents, including punching a teammate, lining up in the wrong spots and sending out ill-advised tweets.”
I want to know that was the sequence.
WEEK ONE
“Titus punched our kicker.”
“Meh”
WEEK TWO
“Titus lined up in the wrong spot.”
“How wrong?”
“He was standing on the ref.”
“Meh.”
WEEK THREE
“Titus just tweeted Doctor Who spoilers”
“THAT BASTARD!!! CUT HIM!!!”
There is a hell, and it is routed via Linksys.
Him: Don't make us resort to torture.
Me: I'll never talk!
Him: Really? We'll see. We're going to take you to a place with free wi-fi that you use all the time. But there's going to be something wrong with the wi-fi. The signal will be there, but your phone won't be able to connect to the Internet. It will just keep trying to load the access permission page, but you won't even know that because it won't even have the decency to give you an error message. And since there technically is still a wi-fi signal, your phone won't even try to use 4G even though that signal is perfect and strong.
Me: You bastard!
Harold Lloyd fan video set to “Her Mother Came Too”
Three reasons for reblogging:
1. When I was younger, I looked like Harold Lloyd. Once, I played it up for a job.
2. There’s a song called “Her Mother Came Too” that has lyrics like:
- My car will meet her - And her mother comes too! It’s a two-seater - Still her mother comes too!
- She simply can’t take a snub, I go and sulk at the club. Then have a bath and a rub - And her brother comes too!
3. Oh yeah. And Happy Mother’s Day!
Ag
Moments before the ceremony, Matt and I gave each other handwritten letters to read together {between a door}. This was such an intimate moment and I am so glad we decided to do it.
This is just too amazing not to reblog.
le sigh
I think we learned one thing for sure.
She is a much crappier writer.
He gets tears. She gets him to look like he’s proofreading a book report.
Well, I was happy...
Him: Tell me about a time you were truly happy.
Me: ...
Him: ...
Me: Once, during down time at an improv practice, this guy and I started making up commedia dell'arte characters with scatalogically inspired names.
Him: ...
Me: ...
Him: Okay. But what ab...
Me: Ay! Constipato! Wadda you doin' here, eh?!
Him: ...
Me: ...
Him: That's...
Me: Flatulada?! Why you looka' so flushed?
Him: Okay. I g...
Me: Colonino! Go getta' you sister, Fecala, and clean uppa' this place. I'm pooped!
Him: Enough!
