Well, That's Just Great
How Trader Joe's selects new locations.
Pam: We're thinking about placing our new Trader Joe's right here (points at map)
Steve: Is it a location with a parking lot that cannot possibly support our needs?
Pam: Yup. Parking lot is far too small and terribly designed.
Steve: PERFECT!
wellthatsjustgreat:

Masked or unmasked, it’s hard to believe the “Ass Asians” never won tag team gold.
On a related note, “Print Shop” combined with a dot matrix printer made some awesome posters back in the day…unfortunately it was also back in the day before spell check.  And on yet another related note, the WWE Network is entertaining on about five different levels at once!

wellthatsjustgreat:

Masked or unmasked, it’s hard to believe the “Ass Asians” never won tag team gold.

On a related note, “Print Shop” combined with a dot matrix printer made some awesome posters back in the day…unfortunately it was also back in the day before spell check.

And on yet another related note, the WWE Network is entertaining on about five different levels at once!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Why don’t you come over here, Ducky?
Ducky: Shhh.
Me: Come on.
Ducky: Shhh! It might come back. Must stay vigilant.
Me: …
Ducky: Could kill us all.
Me: …
Ducky: You, me, and The Lady.
Me: What about Scooter?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: The cat might be in cahoots with the monster.
Me: It’s a UPS woman, not a monster.
Ducky: Po-TAY-toe. Po-TAH-toe. 
Me: And Scooter is not working with the UPS woman.
Ducky: Probably what she’ll tell the police when they’re exhuming our graves in the yard.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Because they’ve killed us?
Ducky: Because they’ve killed us.
Me: …
Ducky: Of course the monster has a truck so it might take the bodies elsewhere.
Me: I don’t think…
Ducky: Shhh! I think the monster is coming back! 
Me: They only deliver once a day so…
Ducky: THERE SHE IS!!! ARRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Scared it away.
Me: That was a school bus.
Ducky: Didn’t stop, did it?
Me: Nope.
Ducky: Scared it away.
Me: ..
Ducky: Not today, monster/cat cabal. Not…today…
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Why don’t you come over here, Ducky?

Ducky: Shhh.

Me: Come on.

Ducky: Shhh! It might come back. Must stay vigilant.

Me:

Ducky: Could kill us all.

Me:

Ducky: You, me, and The Lady.

Me: What about Scooter?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: The cat might be in cahoots with the monster.

Me: It’s a UPS woman, not a monster.

Ducky: Po-TAY-toe. Po-TAH-toe. 

Me: And Scooter is not working with the UPS woman.

Ducky: Probably what she’ll tell the police when they’re exhuming our graves in the yard.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Because they’ve killed us?

Ducky: Because they’ve killed us.

Me:

Ducky: Of course the monster has a truck so it might take the bodies elsewhere.

Me: I don’t think…

Ducky: Shhh! I think the monster is coming back! 

Me: They only deliver once a day so…

Ducky: THERE SHE IS!!! ARRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Scared it away.

Me: That was a school bus.

Ducky: Didn’t stop, did it?

Me: Nope.

Ducky: Scared it away.

Me: ..

Ducky: Not today, monster/cat cabal. Not…today…

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

"Why you always beatin’ Pa, Ma?!"

“‘Cause he ain’t gonna’ offer up them TripAdvisor tips less’n I do, Junior!”

"Why you always beatin’ Pa, Ma?!"

“‘Cause he ain’t gonna’ offer up them TripAdvisor tips less’n I do, Junior!”

Even though Vegas has tried to shore itself up and call itself family-friendly, it’s still a metaphor for decadence. There’s still 64 pages of escort services in the yellow pages.

James Dobson explaining why he didn’t want the GOP to hold the 2016 Republican National Convention in Las Vegas.

But more importantly, Mr. Dobson sends a clear message to anyone who wonders if the GOP has taken steps since the last presidential election to shore up their technology infrastructure so they can compete more effectively with the Democratic Party.

Be afraid, Democrats. The Republicans have the Yellow Pages!

I didn’t know anything about the movie beforehand except that it was basically E.T. for the selfie age. Even the movie poster is a direct rip-off of the much-better original alien-who-wants-to-go-home movie. The folks at Relativity shoulda also warned peeps that the entire movie was shot using a nausea-inducing faux-handheld camera technique. If E.T. and The Blair Witch Project had a threesome with the original Clash of the Titans’ mechanical owl, then they woulda made a baby named Earth to Echo. True story.
Earth To Echo review-Lazy Dad’s Guide to Everything 
Uh huh. I’m pretty sure this is just an extended prank meant to ultimately trick someone into trying to put a shoe onto a kangaroo’s dick.

Uh huh. I’m pretty sure this is just an extended prank meant to ultimately trick someone into trying to put a shoe onto a kangaroo’s dick.

Either someone is playing a little fast and loose with their tagging or there are things about Dean Ambrose I just don’t need to know. 

Ag

Either someone is playing a little fast and loose with their tagging or there are things about Dean Ambrose I just don’t need to know.

Ag

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: It’s not going to work, you two.
Ducky: What?
Me: Stare all you want, you’re not getting any of my food.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Maybe I’m staring at you because I love you.
Me: Maybe. But Scooter is staring right at my tuna.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Perhaps she has noticed something untoward about said tuna.
Me: …
Ducky: Cats are not like us humans. They have strange, inexplicable powers.
Me: ”Us humans,” huh?
Ducky: Perhaps she has noticed something about that tuna that makes it unsafe for human consumption and is trying to warn us.
Me: …
Ducky: Being unable to communicate due to her lack of both language and expressive eyebrows, she is warning in the only way possible. Through the power of staring.
Me: …
Ducky: Staring is a cat’s greatest power.
Me: …
Ducky: During the Bronze Age Egyptians…
Me: You’re making this up.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Cats like fish.
Me: That much is true.
Ducky: And the cat has not learned that the key to getting food from you is to give attention to you and be cute while appearing to not be interested in your meal at all.
Me: …
Ducky: I mean the cat doesn’t love you unconditionally the way I do.
Me: …
Ducky: What food?
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: It’s not going to work, you two.

Ducky: What?

Me: Stare all you want, you’re not getting any of my food.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Maybe I’m staring at you because I love you.

Me: Maybe. But Scooter is staring right at my tuna.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Perhaps she has noticed something untoward about said tuna.

Me:

Ducky: Cats are not like us humans. They have strange, inexplicable powers.

Me: ”Us humans,” huh?

Ducky: Perhaps she has noticed something about that tuna that makes it unsafe for human consumption and is trying to warn us.

Me:

Ducky: Being unable to communicate due to her lack of both language and expressive eyebrows, she is warning in the only way possible. Through the power of staring.

Me:

Ducky: Staring is a cat’s greatest power.

Me:

Ducky: During the Bronze Age Egyptians…

Me: You’re making this up.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Cats like fish.

Me: That much is true.

Ducky: And the cat has not learned that the key to getting food from you is to give attention to you and be cute while appearing to not be interested in your meal at all.

Me:

Ducky: I mean the cat doesn’t love you unconditionally the way I do.

Me:

Ducky: What food?

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

I’m starting to feel like the main reason that more and more Americans are giving up on religion is because they are increasingly tired of having to be associated with people who believe that they know for a fact what God wants on every single matter. They have no humility. “IUDs? Oh God would hate those! Absolutely! No, there’s not one word about them in any religious text of any kind but trust me. If God was here he would TOTALLY hate IUDs. So much so that he would not only send people who used them to hell, he would send people who sell yarn to hell if they didn’t try everything possible to stop people who work for them from using IUDs.”

I get uncomfortable when someone tells me they think they know what their girlfriend will want when she gets here so we can go ahead and order now. But these people would say “Yup. Let’s order God the mozzerella sticks and the pulled pork. That’s what He’d want. For sure. Oh. And a Diet Coke.”

Ag