Well, That's Just Great

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Posts tagged with "fantasy"

You know the best thing about my decision to start playing fantasy football?

It gave me the chance to add an extra moment of personal failure to each week.

Which is just what I needed.

Ag

Jul 4

How to make a good impression on your first day on the job.

Never talk religion or politics. Unless your new job is as ambassador to the Vatican. Then avoid discussing your fantasy football team. Like the rest of us, his holiness doesn’t give a shit about who you’re starting at wide receiver this week.

Ag

Jun 4

Romantic Warnings

If you’re reading this you are likely an avid member of the tumblr community.

Therefore you are also probably not having sex regularly.

In the event that the latter condition changes, I would like to offer some warning to those of you who are hoping for the kind of sexual encounters you have fantasized about after a lifetime spent consuming countless romantic cliches in books, movies, and on television.

Wake me up and make love to me!

  • Nope. Gotta pee.

I just got home from work. Attack me and make love to me on the kitchen floor.

  • Wait a sec. Gotta pee. 

Sex in the Rain.

  • Rain is cold. Thunder and lightning are frightening. Soooooo…

I’m here to help.

Ag

Rewind Sunday:

wellthatsjustgreat:

Me: Nice pants. Are those the Editor Pants from Express that you like?

Her: They’re from Express, but they’re pretty old. I think they’re Pre-Editor.

Me:

Her:

Me: They’re Predator Pants?

Her: Yes. That’s what I said. Predator Pants.

Me:

Ag

Me: Nice pants. Are those the Editor Pants from Express that you like?

Her: They’re from Express, but they’re pretty old. I think they’re Pre-Editor.

Me:

Her:

Me: They’re Predator Pants?

Her: Yes. That’s what I said. Predator Pants.

Me:

Ag

ventriloquiet:

once i break up with people i refuse to call them by their names and just refer to them as ‘my ex-boyfriend’

I do a similar thing, but I refer to my exes as “that Victoria’s Secret Angel, whatshername? You know, the one who breaks up with guys if they’re just too well endowed and rich?”

I also tell people I live in a castle and have super strength.

Ag

I joined an NFL Fantasy League just for giggles. I may draft or just let the computer do it.
Either way, as you can see, I have only one hard and fast rule when it comes to who I will and won’t draft.
Unfailing adherence to an ideology is a terrible thing.
Except when it comes to hating the Cowboys.
Ag

I joined an NFL Fantasy League just for giggles. I may draft or just let the computer do it.

Either way, as you can see, I have only one hard and fast rule when it comes to who I will and won’t draft.

Unfailing adherence to an ideology is a terrible thing.

Except when it comes to hating the Cowboys.

Ag

March 16, 2010
Ducky and I have a conversation on “WTJG” for the first time. The rest is history!
Ag
wellthatsjustgreat:

Ducky: Look at me! I am a highly trained retriever winding my way through a thick marsh to snatch the downed mallard dispatched by my master!
Me: You’re pooping in a bush.
Ducky: Shut up, Dad.
Ag

March 16, 2010

Ducky and I have a conversation on “WTJG” for the first time. The rest is history!

Ag

wellthatsjustgreat:

Ducky: Look at me! I am a highly trained retriever winding my way through a thick marsh to snatch the downed mallard dispatched by my master!

Me: You’re pooping in a bush.

Ducky: Shut up, Dad.

Ag

YOU shall not pass.

YOU shall not pass.

dougstumblr:

makelovetothemoon:

(by moon moustache)

I think of only one thing when I see this…….I see an image of Richard Dreyfuss climbing through his kitchen window.

This means something…

dougstumblr:

makelovetothemoon:

(by moon moustache)

I think of only one thing when I see this…….I see an image of Richard Dreyfuss climbing through his kitchen window.

This means something…