Well, That's Just Great

Dear Local Day Spa,

If you want me to relax prior to my massage perhaps you could choose decor that doesn’t appear to be staring into my soul prior to consuming me.

Ag

“When they sink their teeth into a peanut, their eyes go white. Ya’ ever look into the eyes of an elephant, Mister Brody? Dead eyes. Doll’s eyes.”

Quint’s monologue from “Ears,” the unmade sequel to “Jaws.”

Ag

GPOYAFGTHYNAFYTCHMBLITIWTYAW

(Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself After Finally Getting That Haircut You Needed And Forcing Yourself To Contemplate How Much Better Life Is Than It Was Two Years Ago Wednesday)

Ag

See, because in my opinion, she seems to wear a lot of eye makeup.

Get it?

And I hate beautiful people.

Ag

Looking Out For Me II (by Ag)

Looking out for me (by Ag)

GPOYTAMSEATBCFTFW

(Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Thinking About Medications, Side Effects, And The Best Choices For The Future Wednesday)

What are the eyes of the jury telling you?

“

—	A pinhead anchor on MSNBC asking a pinhead reporter at the Casey Anthony trial to think about the eyes of the jury and tell her if he thinks they’ll convict Anthony. Am I the only one who gets queasy with this whole “turning of criminal trials into entertainment” thing? Ag

Sunday Ducky Sunday

Originally from August 21, 2009

wellthatsjustgreat:

If I could have emoted shame through my eyes the way Ducky does when he relieves himself I could have continued to make my living as an actor for several more years.

Although probably not if I had to poop on stage to do it.

Ag

Can’t decide on the punchline for this photo I took today.

Dude. If that salmon doesn’t stop staring at me I’m going to kick its ass.
Today’s special: Salmon with Itty Bitty Titties.

I’m not in love with either. But the damn item was so strange looking.

Got a better one?