wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: She’s not sharing.

Me: She doesn’t have to.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Seems rude.

Me: It is what it is.

Ducky: But I love popcorn.

Me: You’ve never had popcorn.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: I feel confident I would love popcorn.

Me: How about a carrot? You like carrots.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: I do like carrots.

Me: …

Ducky: But popcorn smells like I would like it more than carrots.

Me: You’ll never know. No popcorn for you. 

Ducky: …

Me: Two carrots, and you can accidentally step on the lady as you follow me into the kitchen.

Ducky: Seems rude. I like it.

The Lady: What?

Ducky & Me: Nothing.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy,

Ag

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post from wellthatsjustducky. Remember to follow us over there for new posts every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

Ducky: This is weird.

Me: I thought it might make bath time less stressful.

Ducky: I didn’t know baths made you stressed.

Me: Not me, you.

Ducky: I don’t like baths.

Me: I am aware of that.

Ducky: And you thought adding another body to the tub would make it more enjoyable?

Me: It’s like a party.

Ducky: …

Me: Party in the tub!

Ducky: This is weird.

Me: Well sue me for trying something new.

Ducky: You’re wearing pants in the bath tub. That’s weird.

Me: It’s a swimsuit.

Ducky: I’m not wearing a swimsuit. Why are you?

Me: If I wasn’t this would be weird.

Ducky: …

Me: Weirder.

Ducky: Rinse me, old man.

Me: Me first.

Ducky: Weirdo.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag

Smile Friday: Two Boys With Big Round Heads Edition.

When the future is uncertain, I need the Ducky Dog more than usual to remind me to focus on what really matters. Love. And food. Mainly food.

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post. Remember to follow wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7:00 pm ET!

Me: What?

Ducky: Thanks.

Me: For what?

Ducky: All the things.

Me: Like?

Ducky: Feeding. Petting. Water. The yard. The lady. The mama.

Me: Okay.

Ducky: Tuggers. I like tuggers. Thanks for those. And fuzzies. And treats.

Me: You’re welcome.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Walks. Thanks for the walks. And for forgiving me when I go on my own walks.

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: And baths. I don’t like baths, but they’re good for me. Not all dogs get baths.

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: There was an ASPCA commercial on TV, wasn’t there?

Ducky: They tricked me. I know to leave the room when that “Arms of the Angels” song starts.

Me: Ah. They do have a new song now, yes. Joe Cocker’s “You Are So Beautiful.”

Ducky: And the first dog looked like Foley.

Me: Yeah.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Not all dogs are as lucky as me. And I don’t say “Thank you” enough.

Me: Not all people are as lucky as me. No thanks needed. I wish all those doggies had homes.

Ducky: Me too.

Me: Best doggies in the world come from shelters.

Ducky: Like me!

Me: Yup. And like Foley.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Thanks, Daddy. For everything.

Me: Thanks, Ducky. For everything.

Ducky:  I love you, Daddy.

Me: Love you more, Ducky.

Ag

This week’s new Ducky post! Remember, there’s a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 pm ET at wellthatsjustducky!

Ducky: Hmm.

Me: What?

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: You’re in my yard.

Me: …

Ducky: In a tree bag.

Me: Hammock.

Ducky: …

Me: Want to come up?

Ducky: Looks wobbly.

Me: It swings.

Ducky: Uh huh. Think I’ll stay down…wait.

Me: What?

Ducky: Got any food up there?

Me: Nope.

Ducky: Right. Think I’ll stay down here.

Me: Okay.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: What?!

Ducky: You know you have a bed, right?

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: And a sofa. And you nap on the floor all the time.

Me: Right.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: But you felt the need to hang a bag in a tree in the yard and sleep in it.

Me: People are funny.

Ducky: “Funny” is one word for it.

Me: …

Ducky: Weirdo.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, weirdo.

Me: …

Ducky: Daddy.

Ag

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Someone been picking on you, Daddy?

Me: Kinda’. If the universe counts as “someone.”

Ducky: You should take a nap. Naps make things better.

Me: Yeah?

Ducky: Yeah. And I’ll keep watch. And if the universe comes here and tries anything, I’ll kill it.

Me: Yeah? You’re not really a killer, Ducky.

Ducky: No. But nobody picks on the Daddy.

Me: Aw, thanks, Duck. 

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: I don’t know how to kill the universe.

Me: No shame in knowing one’s limitations.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Maybe I won’t kill it. Just bite it and it will run away.

Me: Okay.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Maybe barking and looking mean would be enough.

Me: Maybe.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: It’s comfy down here.

Me: Yeah? Maybe you should just nap with me.

Ducky: And if the universe comes, I’ll wake up and start with the barking and the biting and giving it what for.

Me: Sounds like a plan. You’ll be well rested.

Ducky: Naps make everything better.

Me: I hope you’re right, Ducky. Thanks for taking care of me.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ag

Last Sunday’s new Ducky Post from wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: You look tired.

Me: I am.

Ducky: Ran again today?

Me: Yup. A half marathon. And we saw a doggie run the whole thing with his daddy!

Ducky: …

Me: Over 13 miles.

Ducky: …

Me: Maybe we could start training you for that.

Ducky: …

Me: ..

Ducky: No need. I am already tired fairly regularly. 

Me: That’s not why you run.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: How long was that doggie running?

Me: About two and a half hours.

Ducky: Uh huh. And while that doggie was doing that, what was I doing?

Me: I’m guessing sleeping.

Ducky: Since I was asleep from the time you left until now, good guess.

Me: Not interested in running?

Ducky: I’m not saying that. But I’m working on soaring with my strengths first.

Me: You are good at sleeping.

Ducky: Yup. Slept all morning. You know what I have planned for the afternoon?

Me: Sleeping?

Ducky: Bingo. I’m pulling a double. I bet that dog isn’t doing another half marathon.

Me: No, I would bet not.

Ducky: What do you think he is doing this afternoon?

Me: Probably sleeping.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Jack of all trades, master of none.

Me: That’s one way of looking at it.

Ducky: Thanks for wanting to run with me.

Me: Always want to be with you, Duck. But I think you’re right. Focus on the sleeping. It’s your special gift.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ag

Last Sunday’s New Ducky Post From wellthatsjustducky! Remember, new posts every Sunday at 7:00 pm ET and “Rewind Ducky” posts and news on the forthcoming Ducky book throughout the week!

Ducky: I can explain.

Me: No need.

Ducky: There was a lot of noise.

Me: I know.

Ducky: For weeks.

Me: Hours, but yes, a long time.

Ducky: I barked but the noise kept noising.

Me: I know, Ducky. It’s okay.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: I think I killed the fuzzy.

Me: It is in pretty bad shape.

Ducky: I’m sorry. There was a lot of noise…

Me: It’s okay, Ducky. People were painting the house. That was the noise.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Did the cat see them and tell you? Because it’s not fair that she gets to roam…

Me: No. The Lady and I asked the people to paint the house.

Ducky: …

Me: And we knew that the noise make you tense. That’s why we left the fuzzy doggie in here for you to destroy.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: What?

Me: We wanted to give you something to destroy it you got tense so we left the fuzzy as…bait.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: His death is on your hands.

Me: I’m okay with that.

Ducky: You didn’t have to do that. There are lots of other things in here I could have destroyed.

Me: Exactly. But they’re done painting so we’re all going to be much more relaxed now.

Ducky: Fuzzy can’t get much more relaxed.

Me: No, I guess not. 

Ducky: Dead is as relaxed as it gets.

Me: Pretty much.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ag

Yesterday’s new Ducky post from wellthatsjustducky. Be sure to follow for the latest news on the developing Ducky book!

Me: Comfy in the sun there, kitty cat?

Ducky: Cats didn’t invent resting in a sunbeam.

Me: No. But it is kind of their thing.

Ducky: Assign your arbitrary species roles elsewhere, old man.

Me: Alright. 

Ducky: And yes, it is quite comfy. You should try it.

Me: Sounds nice, but I’ve got a lot of stuff to do, Ducky.

Ducky: Better things than lying in the sun?

Me: Better? No.

Ducky: Things that will make you happier than lying in the sun?

Me: No. Not happier.

Ducky: ….

Me: …

Ducky: Is the Lady trapped in a well and you need to go rescue her?

Me: No. It’s just work stuff.

Ducky: Oh. So it’s stuff that if you do now, you’ll be done and won’t have to do anymore work stuff later or tomorrow?

Me: No. Pretty much there’s always work stuff to do. It never gets finished.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: When do you get to be done?

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: No earlier than the year 2040.

Ducky: …

Me: If I skimp and don’t spend too much money on things that make me happy.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky:

Me: Move over.

Ducky: Plenty of sun to go around. You just gotta’ decide it’s time to lie down.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I Love you, Daddy.

Ag

Last Sunday’s New Ducky Post! Remember, new posts every Sunday at 7:00 pm ET at wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: You seen the cat?

Me: …

Scooter: …

Ducky: …

Me: No.

Scooter: …

Ducky: She got scared of the vacuum and ran all the way up the stairs. Proverbial “Scaredy Cat” if you will!

Me: …

Scooter: …

Ducky: …

Me: You did the same thing.

Ducky: Incorrect. I went half-way up the stairs. And solely to allow you easy access to the cat hair covered carpet downstairs.

Me: It seems to be mainly dog hair that is getting sucked up.

Scooter: …

Ducky: The cat steals my fur at night and spreads it around the house.

Me: How does she do that, exactly?

Scooter: …

Ducky: Very quietly so as not to wake you.

Me: Clever. But you weren’t scared of the vacuum?

Scooter: …

Ducky: Nope.

Me: Then why were you barking at it?

Scooter: …

Ducky: Ergonomics.

Me: Ergonomics?

Scooter: …

Ducky: You were bending wrong. I was warning you so you wouldn’t injure your back.

Me: Very kind of you. Why don’t you come down now?

Scooter: …

Ducky: You should put the vacuum away first.

Me: Why?

Scooter: …

Ducky: Ergonomics.

Me: That makes no sense.

Scooter: Maybe that’s why you hurt your back.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Scooter: Meow.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ag