Welcome to the graveyard of ambition.
“
| — | David Nicholls |
That Big Mac isn't disappointed in me.
Her: I know you feel like you failed, but the important thing is to learn from these experiences.
Me: ...
Her: So what did you learn from this?
Me: That binge eating remains my go-to coping mechanism.
Ducky: Nice day, Daddy.
Me: Nice day, Ducky.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Is that all, Daddy?
Me: I think so.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: No deep thoughts to contemplate? No meaning to find?
Me: I don’t think so, Ducky. Not today.
Ducky: Just you and me being content on a nice day?
Me: Yup. That’s all.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: That is a nice day.
Me: Yup. Today has value just because it is.
Ducky: And so do we.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
I was angry, so I went for a run. And things got better.
I was confused, so I went for a run. And things got better.
I was exhausted, so I went for a run. And things got better.
I was lost, unsure, empty, afraid. Certain that whatever was left of my sanity had snapped, had come untethered and floated away, to a place so high and remote that I would never see it again, and that even if I did, I wouldn’t recognize it.
So I went for a run. And things got better.
I felt like things could not possibly get worse, so I went for a run. And things got better.
(Another time, I felt like things could not get much better. I went for a run. Things got much better.)
After enough miles, over enough runs and enough years, I realized: No matter what, no matter when, or where, or why, I can find my shoes and go for a run and things will get better.
And that realization? Just knowing that?
It made things better.
“
| — |
-Mark Remy, Runners World http://www.runnersworld.com/fun/so-i-went-run (via rtpforgotr) This is perfect. I need to make more time for running. (via joepinecone) Aint this the truth. All of it. (via run2bme) |
Fun with brain chemistry!
Me: I'm never going to get what I want! I'm sick to my stomach with anxiety! Can't I win just this once?
The Universe: Here you go. Exactly what you were hoping for!
Me: ...
The Universe: ...
Me: I don't deserve this! I'm going to screw this up! I'm sick to my stomach with anxiety!
Ducky: Someone been picking on you, Daddy?
Me: Kinda’. If the universe counts as “someone.”
Ducky: You should take a nap. Naps make things better.
Me: Yeah?
Ducky: Yeah. And I’ll keep watch. And if the universe comes here and tries anything, I’ll kill it.
Me: Yeah? You’re not really a killer, Ducky.
Ducky: No. But nobody picks on the Daddy.
Me: Aw, thanks, Duck.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I don’t know how to kill the universe.
Me: No shame in knowing one’s limitations.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Maybe I won’t kill it. Just bite it and it will run away.
Me: Okay.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Maybe barking and looking mean would be enough.
Me: Maybe.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: It’s comfy down here.
Me: Yeah? Maybe you should just nap with me.
Ducky: And if the universe comes, I’ll wake up and start with the barking and the biting and giving it what for.
Me: Sounds like a plan. You’ll be well rested.
Ducky: Naps make everything better.
Me: I hope you’re right, Ducky. Thanks for taking care of me.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ag
Him: Did you ever think about killing yourself?
Me: Of course.
Him: You got that low?
Me: Actually, I think I got closest to doing it when I was happy. If I'd been low and feeling like an abject failure for a long time but then something random and good happened that brought me out and brought me real happiness, I'd find myself thinking, "God, maybe I should kill myself now so I don't fall back down again."
Him: ...
Me: I went to sleep content so rarely that it was tempting to "leave on a high note" when happiness came.
Him: That's awful.
Me: I know. I'm not advocating depression, just sharing.
This. My little side has helped so much.
For maximum effect, do them all at the same time.
On the bus.
Ag
(Source: psychofactz)
