And Tiny Tim…WHO DID NOT DIE!
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| — | Charles Dickens, in a shocking plot twist, revealing that Tiny Tim was immortal all along! |
EVERYTHING’S FINE
Two divers look at a great white during a dive without shark cages in the waters off the coast of Mexico. Deep sea photographer Daniel Botelho took a series of pictures on a recent trip to a remote island off the coast of Mexico. The award-winning nature photographer insisted that while great white sharks are top predators they very rarely regard humans as food. He explained the key to safely diving with this notorious shark was to remain relaxed, keep eye contact with the shark and hold ones ground no matter how close the shark swims to the diver. Picture: Daniel Botelho/Barcroft Media
He further explained, “I’m just shitting you. We photoshopped it. What?! Someone took our advice seriously?! Oh dear God! Make sure they don’t hold their ground and make eye contact!! They hate that!! Oh God you ignorant hipster millennial fuck heads!!! Stop believing everything you see on the Internet!!!”
Ag
HOW TO: cook ramen
this is how im going to eat in college
Clever. Especially the part when you die from eating pesticide/herbicide laced dandelions that you picked from the Quad.
Ag
A Longer Response to the “I have value simply because I am” mentions
Tropical Depression Revisited
There were posts before this, but they were usually just snippets meant to be pithy or funny. This was the first time I decided to go into detail and open up. And it felt good.
Reading it, I hear how I was still low, and still unsure that the path I was on would get me where I wanted to be. But I also rememeber this moment as the beginning of seeing just the slightest flicker of light above me as I slowly began to transition away from only finding value in myself through accomplishments. Perhaps, “I have value simply because I am.”
Ag
This won’t be funny and likely won’t be interesting to most of you. But Un asked the question, and others I respect piped in, so for them, a little context. For the rest of you. I’m sure I’ll come up with a poop joke soon.
Rewind Sunday: August 27, 2010
One of my favorite Ducky posts. I was dealing with some heady issues in my life at the time. Ducky was too. We helped each other.
Ag
Ducky: Hey, Dad?
Me: Yes, Ducky?
Ducky: What happens when you die?
Me: Wow. I don’t know, Ducky. No one knows. I think dogs like you go to a special place where you get to run free all the time, and not have seizures, and eat when you want and as much as you want and, if you wanted, you would be able to check in on me sometimes.
Ducky: Yeah?
Me: Yeah. And I think you’re gonna meet Sniffles and Sam and you’re going to get along really well because you were all my dogs.
Ducky: You think?
Me: Yup. I still think I see Sniffles and Sam out of the corner of my eye sometimes. So I think they’re around when they want to be; when I need them. But for the most part I think they run around and have fun because they know that I have you looking out for me.
Ducky: But what happens if you die? Where do you go?
Me: That I don’t know.
Ducky: But you think you know where I go?
Me: Yeah. I know that’s weird.
Ducky: A little.
Me: But I’m not going to die for a long time.
Ducky: Promise?
Me: Promise.
Ducky: Because you’ve told me things on those bad nights…
Me: Those were just bad nights, Ducky. They’re over now.
Ducky: But what about an accident? You could get hit by a car or get heartworm.
Me: Well, if I died I’m sure your Mom would take you back right away.
Ducky: Promise?
Me: I promise.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: If you go to a place like the one you talked about, when you weren’t running and playing with other people would you check in on me sometime?
Me: Absolutely. Whenever you needed me and sometimes just because…
Ducky: OK. Thanks, Dad.
Me: You’re welcome, Duck.
Ducky: Don’t die.
Me: You too.
Ducky: Ok
Me: Love you, Ducky.
Ducky: Love you too, Dad.
Ag
I don’t know what the right choices are moving forward, but I feel confident I know these things.
There is no tragedy, regardless of scope or senselessness, that would be significant enough to cause the NRA to support even the smallest modicum of what could be called gun control.
And there are a large number of people in this country who believe the only way to decrease the frequency and severity of these types of events is to do everything we can to make sure that more people have more guns.
And when news of this tragedy broke there were thousands, if not millions of people who had only one real concern: that this might lead someone to try to make it a little harder for them to buy as many guns as they could ever want.
And while I don’t know it for a fact, I guess I’m correct in assuming that tonight someone is watching the news reports of this event, and writing a check to the NRA.
Because they don’t want to fix this. They are content with how things are.
And so it is how things shall ever be.
Ag
Suicide Note Options
From a looooong time ago. Things have changed. I think less about killing myself and I don’t make the mistake of thinking that people read long things on tumblr!
Ag
(As a reminder, if this writing exercise concerns you, relax.)
So when I think about ending it all, I tend to focus less on the actual killing of myself and more on the suicide note. Thinking about how I’m going to do it involves planning, weighing options, deciding on timing, and then actually making a decision. And let’s face it, if I was good at pulling the trigger on the big decisions in my life, chances are I wouldn’t be thinking about, well, pulling the trigger.
Sunday Ducky Sunday
August 27, 2010
One of my two favorite Ducky posts. I was dealing with some heady issues in my life at the time. Ducky was too. We helped each other. First I helped him.
Ag
Ducky: Hey, Dad?
Me: Yes, Ducky?
Ducky: What happens when you die?
Me: Wow. I don’t know, Ducky. No one knows. I think dogs like you go to a special place where you get to run free all the time, and not have seizures, and eat when you want and as much as you want and, if you wanted, you would be able to check in on me sometimes.
Ducky: Yeah?
Me: Yeah. And I think you’re gonna meet Sniffles and Sam and you’re going to get along really well because you were all my dogs.
Ducky: You think?
Me: Yup. I still think I see Sniffles and Sam out of the corner of my eye sometimes. So I think they’re around when they want to be; when I need them. But for the most part I think they run around and have fun because they know that I have you looking out for me.
Ducky: But what happens if you die? Where do you go?
Me: That I don’t know.
Ducky: But you think you know where I go?
Me: Yeah. I know that’s weird.
Ducky: A little.
Me: But I’m not going to die for a long time.
Ducky: Promise?
Me: Promise.
Ducky: Because you’ve told me things on those bad nights…
Me: Those were just bad nights, Ducky. They’re over now.
Ducky: But what about an accident? You could get hit by a car or get heartworm.
Me: Well, if I died I’m sure your Mom would take you back right away.
Ducky: Promise?
Me: I promise.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: If you go to a place like the one you talked about, when you weren’t running and playing with other people would you check in on me sometime?
Me: Absolutely. Whenever you needed me and sometimes just because…
Ducky: OK. Thanks, Dad.
Me: You’re welcome, Duck.
Ducky: Don’t die.
Me: You too.
Ducky: Ok
Me: Love you, Ducky.
Ducky: Love you too, Dad.
Ag
“Take time to be a dad today.”
Seriously. Take the time. Maybe if you spend a little time with your kid he won’t wander into a wildebeest stampede. Just sayin’.
Ag
I have tried to get people to watch “Babe: Pig In the City,” a film that I believe to be the most underrated piece of cinema in the last twenty years. I’ve never been very successful. It has a lot going against it for people. They think I’m talking about “Babe,” which they saw and liked, or didn’t, but feel no need to see more of that story.” Some hate sequels on principal. Some think it a “kid’s movie” or a gimmicky one about talking animals. It probably doesn’t help that as I sell its virtues I often use terms like “dark but still funny” and “like Willy Wonka, but without music and more disquieting.”
So if you have never seen it, I hope you will. But for those who still won’t give it a shot, I offer this one scene as a great example of why the film is so amazing.
SEMI-SPOILERY BUT IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO GIVE IT A SHOT WHAT DO YOU CARE?
Prior to this scene, there has been a raid. Dozens of stray animals have been rounded up including Flealick, a dog who needs a wheeled cart to travel. Nigel and Alan sacrifice their freedom and allow themselves to be caught to make sure they can look after their hot tempered friend. The raiders have no idea how to deal with a dog that needs a cart, however, and toss him aside, leaving Nigel and Alan imprisoned.
Tiny Flealick attacks the leader of the raiders who have kidnapped his friends, vainly tugging at her skirt and growling as she gets into the vehicle. As the door slams, he refuses to stop fighting and holds onto the skirt as the van speeds off to the lab where pain and death await his friends.
The following scene begins with Babe running after the van and calling out, “Flealick! Flealick! Let go!”
“Let go, Flealick!”
And the scene ends with a beautiful visual response to, “You’re just a little pig in the big city. What can you possibly do? What can anyone do? Why even try!?”
