Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
Pete: Wow! You're back!
Jesus: Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?
Pete: ...don't you know all?
Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
Pete: And?
Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
Pete: Okay.
Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
Pete: Probably a smart move.
Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
Pete: Okay.
Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
Jesus: Pardon?
Pete: Never mind.
Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
Jesus: ...
Pete: ...
Jesus: What was that?
Pete: Good Friday.
Jesus: GOOD Friday?
Pete: What's wrong?
Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
Jesus: ...
Pete: ...
Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
Pete: Ha!
Jesus: What?
Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
Pete: Sorry.
Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?
Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
Jesus: So?
Pete: Uh oh.
