god what book do i put as my favorite book for my usc application my god i have so many but i’ll be judged way too harshly someone give me a book im drawing a blank on what ive even read H-A-L-P
BRO. HAMLET.
Books that, for different reasons, won’t make the impression you’re going for.
Mien Kampf
The Hungry Caterpillar
The phone book
The Owner’s Manual for a 1971 Impala
The Anarchist’s Cookbook
Your handwritten notebook of people who are gonna “get it one day if it’s the last thing I do.”
Hairy Potter and the Deathly Swallows.
Ag
Hey, well that's just great, it's wellthatsjustgreat! :D What was your first girlfriend like? (I'm trying to learn more about you so I can abduct your and replace you with a clone, like in the Invasion of the Body Snatches. But don't tell anyone!)
Sincere Answer: Didn’t get my first date until freshman year of college. Shocking, I know. I joined a campus comedy club (a BIG step for never-stepped-on-stage-in-high-school Anthony) and she was a member. She had short hair, thought I was funny, liked my writing, and was the first girl to ever find me attractive. I’m amazed I didn’t marry her the first week.
We dated for a bit, but pretty soon we realized that we were less than ideal matches. She was a drinker. And she smoked. My first kiss was a girl who smoked. Blech.
Oh yeah, I didn’t kiss a girl until college. Did I forget to mention that? And my former high school classmates claim to not understand why I don’t plan to go to the reunion and relive the “good old days.”
Anyhoo, pretty soon after meeting her, I met Belle. And although we were “just friends” long distance for a year, I was done. No need to keep looking. I found the girl I’d be with forev…
Ag Style Answer: I don’t remember, but I do remember the first woman I ever made love to. I also remember that we had to be extra quiet because she was afraid we’d wake you in the other room.
Afterwards I wanted to tell your mom that being quiet with her was NOT a problem but I decided just to leave the five dollars on the dresser and leave.
Ag
Dear 29 year old guy,
Nobody wants to hear what you and your buddies did that one time in college when you were really drunk.
Sincerely,
All of us.
P.S. We act interested because we’re polite. But please know that as soon as you start with, “This one time my buddy Pete and I…” we all die a little inside.
A lot of us majored in eligibility.
“
—
Warren Sapp
Discussion at the University of Maryland six months ago.
Designer: So what are you looking for in the new uniform design?
Athletic Director: Can you make something that incorporates the Maryland flag but in a way that makes it appear as if you have suffered some kind of awful brain injury that has severed your corpus callosum and rendered each hemisphere of your brain ignorant of what the other hemisphere is thinking and seeing?
Designer: Yes. Yes I can.
Ag
lookingglassandrabbithole:
“I want you to notice when I’m not around.”
I have sung this with far too much passion in my car far too often. Part of me will always be the angst ridden college kid that nobody loved, or at least the angst ridden college kid who believed that nobody loved him.
Anonymous
