“Take time to be a dad today.”
Seriously. Take the time. Maybe if you spend a little time with your kid he won’t wander into a wildebeest stampede. Just sayin’.
Ag
Also, I hear the episiotomy isn't covered for men.
Me: I just think it's probably a bad idea for me to have children.
Her: Because you don't have the personality for it?
Me: No. Because of these narrow hips.
“Rebel Without A Clog”
I rant for no good reason.
And then I provide an exclusive preview of “The Avengers!”
Ag
At Publix…
I step on the scale.
Kid says, “What is he doing?”
Mother responds, “He’s weighing himself.”
Kid pauses and asks, “Why?”
Two hours later I have no answer.
Do you?
I’m assuming you don’t have children…
“
| — |
Reply to this post Ah! The classic go to fallacy employed by every lazy, selfish parent on the planet. I am not a parent so how dare I criticize anything that a parent does? After all, parenting is the hardest job in the world! Yep. Right now there are Marines in firefights in Afghanistan thinking to themselves, “Whew! At least I’m not parenting!” I was never a Nazi, but I’m comfortable saying they were pricks. And I’m not a pedophile, but I’m comfortable calling them a danger to society. And I am not a parent, and yet somehow I think it’s within my rights to call you a selfish, self absorbed twat when you let your hatchling grope half the food and utensils at the salad bar in between nose, ear, and eye fingerings. Ag |
So, this post got reblogged today and received some strong comments and replies.
To everyone who got upset I apologize for any and all offense that I caused. I exaggerate for fun here and try to entertain as best I can but I never want to cause unhappiness.
However…
Since many of the reactions were less than well organized and some of them amounted to nothing more than ad hominem attacks on me, I am concerned that now those comments and replies are on WTJG. And they are not fun. They are not entertaining. They are just rude. And if you want to be rude to me, be rude to me. But if you think your thoughts are of sufficient value to post publicly then you are in some way trying to show how clever you are to other people. And if you’re doing that on my site, you’d better be clever.
But don’t worry. I’m here to help. Allow me to use your comments as inspiration to entertain in the next few tumblr sized bites!
Ag
Thank you, parents of the world, for continuing to see absolutely no problem with placing you children’s asses on surfaces that will soon also accommodate my food.
I’m guessing this breeder has a bottle of hand sanitizer in her purse to protect her and her hatchling from everyone else’s disgusting germs. Meanwhile thanks to her I’m trying to figure out, “Is that cilantro I taste or is it ass?”
Ag
Smile Friday: My Older Brother And Me.
On the positive side, I was adorable.
Negatively, I am getting dangerously close to that body type again!
Ag
“Miraculous”
“Perfect”
Congratulations on using wall decals to find yet another way to wallow in your child fetish and warp your child’s self image so that s/he is totally unprepared for a world that knows s/he is far from miraculous and anything but perfect.
On a related note, many parents are total twats.
I might be grumpy.
Ag
(Source: imgfave)
