“Christ Alive! World Ministries?”
Um, I’ve been away from the church for awhile, but if I did go back I don’t think I’d pick a one that actually uses God’s name in vain in their name.
Although that is the silliest commandment. So maybe I would worship at a place called something like “God DAMN! I Can’t Believe It’s Church!” Just for the T-shirts.
Gwyneth Paltrow is to Lea Michelle as Jesus is to Tim Tebow
I just realized that my earlier quote and commentary about Lea Michelle can be perfectly applied to Tim Tebow if you change the pronouns from feminine to masculine and change Lea Michelle and Gwyneth Paltrow to Tim Tebow and Jesus Christ:
Michele Tim recounts a dream-like rehearsal prayer session where Gwyneth Paltrow Jesus Christ, whom she’s “obsessed” with, gave her him some unexpected wisdom. After expressing doubt in her dance moves his inability to be successful at quarterback in the NFL, Paltrow Christ—who likes to give advice—calmed her him down with some sound, albeit pretty vague words, “ She He said, ‘You can do it.’” Michele Tebow gushes, “I love talking with Gwyneth Jesus. She He just gives good advice.”
Lea Tim? ”You can do it” isn’t advice. It’s kinda’ encouragement but I’m not even sure it was that since it sounds like Paltrow Jesus might have just been trying to get you to calm the fuck down so she He could finish her scene stop being pestered by petty prayers from Florida Gator fans and focus on appearing on toast.
This is advice: SAVE YOUR MONEY. THE
GLEE BRONCOS GRAVY TRAIN IS NEARING ITS FINAL DESTINATION!!!!!!!
Who is pretty sure he just designed a post that can only be enjoyed by people with knowledge of both the cast of Glee and of the concern among sports writers about Tim Tebow’s talent. They would also have to be pretty cool with blasphemy.
Remind me of this post the next time I wonder why my stuff doesn’t get reblogged.
Lea Michele Covers September ‘Harper’s Bazaar,’ Talks Beauty, ‘Glee’ And Gwyneth Paltrow
Clumsy Man-Handed Rooster (by Namey McNamerson)
“To my dear brother Johnnie Brookman, from your sister Lettie Smith”
Um…the Easter Cock?
Even my agnostic ass finds that fairly blasphemous.
I think whatever last remaining shreds of raised Catholic cred that I have washed away as I laughed at this for 10 minutes.
Christmas Lights on the Strip Club down the street…
Slightly More Clever Response
- If they hang Christmas lights outside, what do they do with the balls? Oh.
- Behold! In the east. A star! No wait. That’s just glare off her nipple ring.
Successfully entered and exited a church without bursting into flames. Apparently God is biding his time. Well played, Jehovah. Well played.