Almost as important, don’t drink and talk to me.

You weren’t funny or interesting sober. You aren’t funny or interesting buzzed.

But at least you got louder. So you have that going for you.

So, this post got reblogged today and received some strong comments and replies.

To everyone who got upset I apologize for any and all offense that I caused. I exaggerate for fun here and try to entertain as best I can but I never want to cause unhappiness.

However…

Since many of the reactions were less than well organized and some of them amounted to nothing more than ad hominem attacks on me, I am concerned that now those comments and replies are on WTJG. And they are not fun. They are not entertaining. They are just rude. And if you want to be rude to me, be rude to me. But if you think your thoughts are of sufficient value to post publicly then you are in some way trying to show how clever you are to other people. And if you’re doing that on my site, you’d better be clever.

But don’t worry. I’m here to help. Allow me to use your comments as inspiration to entertain in the next few tumblr sized bites!

Ag

wellthatsjustgreat:

Thank you, parents of the world, for continuing to see absolutely no problem with placing you children’s asses on surfaces that will soon also accommodate my food.

I’m guessing this breeder has a bottle of hand sanitizer in her purse to protect her and her hatchling from everyone else’s disgusting germs. Meanwhile thanks to her I’m trying to figure out, “Is that cilantro I taste or is it ass?”

Ag

We are curious When the employee said “Please move forward so we have room for everyone,” you didn’t move, even though he said it clearly several times including once directly to you.

So, did you not understand the directions or did you decide that such requests don’t apply to a man of such great import?

We’re just wondering if you’re a moron or a dick. Just curious.

Hugs and kisses.

Society

Thank you, parents of the world, for continuing to see absolutely no problem with placing you children’s asses on surfaces that will soon also accommodate my food.

I’m guessing this breeder has a bottle of hand sanitizer in her purse to protect her and her hatchling from everyone else’s disgusting germs. Meanwhile thanks to her I’m trying to figure out, “Is that cilantro I taste or is it ass?”

Ag

shineyourlightmyway:

I adore Emma Stone…

Beautiful people who talk like this are like rich people who say “money doesn’t make you happy.”

That is to say, dicks.

Ag

Rewind Sunday: The “&@#$ You! I Thought They Were Good!” Edition

wellthatsjustgreat:

Hey, James Cameron,

I saw the product of years of your effort in the theater today. Allow me to mock your remarkable achievement through a product of 15 minutes of effort in my living room.

If I anger you or hurt your feelings, might I suggest you soothe yourself by reading all of the glowing reviews of your films, polishing your Oscars, and swimming through all the money in your giant Scrooge McDuck style vault?

While you do, I’ll be eating spray cheese on Ritz crackers. They were both on sale!

Ag

The person in front of me at Dunkin’ Donuts, that’s who. And not surprisingly she also said “Ummmmmm” a lot while trying to figure out which 12 donuts she wanted. At least she ordered them in the socially agreed upon unit size.

Honestly, people, we’re living in a society. Stop gumming up the works with unnecessary individualism!

Ag