Rewind Sunday: “I’m More Of An NFL Guy” Edition
I admit I am not a fan, but watching the tournament I must admit I have identified a few simple changes that would greatly improve the game.
- Replace the hoop with an oversized waste paper basket. And replace the ball with wadded up paper. Trust me. This set-up has held my interest for HOURS at work.
- If you keep the hoop, make it much wider. Like 20 feet in diameter. And lower it to about three feet off the ground. Many more shots would go in. Am I the only one who notices that the height and diameter of the rim is making this game unnecessarily challenging?
- Allow the fans to vote via text message on how many points each basket is worth. Interactivity is all the rage! It makes EVERYTHING better. Who wants to just WATCH a game?
- What’s with all the bouncing? Very distracting and disrespectful. If it was your baby would you be bouncing it up and down on the floor all night? I didn’t think so.
- Every time a rule eliminates some kind of dangerous activity in the NFL, immediately begin awarding points for the activity in basketball. Five points for clipping. Twenty-five points for hitting someone with the crown of your helmet. Oh, yeah. Some folks should wear helmets. Only about half though. The half who plan on hitting people.
- During all games I should either be supplied with free food or sex (sex price negotiable). If guaranteed this I would watch more games. At least until I ended up sleepy.
- The game should never be played in Wyoming. They have trouble counting by twos.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to work on my dribbling. Where is that napkin?