Well, That's Just Great
Guess they were just going to the mall.
Her: Care to join us on our outing?
Me: No thank you. I think people should come out when they're ready. See, one's sexuality...
Her: You're an idiot.
Since I have no children, I assume the purpose of this mailer is to convince me to take out a policy on some kid and then whack him. #seemswrong

Since I have no children, I assume the purpose of this mailer is to convince me to take out a policy on some kid and then whack him. #seemswrong

yall:

My cat gives my mom terrible allergies but she won’t kick him out of the bed

Um…it looks like your mom is about to do the walk of shame. “I can’t believe I slept with the cat. What was I drinking last night?”Ag

yall:

My cat gives my mom terrible allergies but she won’t kick him out of the bed

Um…it looks like your mom is about to do the walk of shame.

“I can’t believe I slept with the cat. What was I drinking last night?”

Ag

You known what’s more embarrassing than accidentally saying, “Oh! I’m sorry! Excuse me!” to this cut out of Danica Patrick as you enter? Doing it again as you leave. #icouldbeanidiot (at Firehouse Subs)

You known what’s more embarrassing than accidentally saying, “Oh! I’m sorry! Excuse me!” to this cut out of Danica Patrick as you enter? Doing it again as you leave. #icouldbeanidiot (at Firehouse Subs)

Spellcheck can only save me from some of my stupidity.

Someone on tumblr talks about their body image. They post “Why should my life choices be limited just because I’m big?”

I click “reply” to give them the standard tumblr supportive *hugs*.

I accidentally reply *huge*.

So it appears in response to, “Why should my life be limited just because I’m big?” I decided to explain that the issue isn’t that the person is just big, they are HUGE.

Could have been worse. I could have appeared to believe that the issue was the person was covered with bugs.

Ag

Gotta be honest with you.  Not a line I really want directed towards me on my birthday. 

Ag

Gotta be honest with you. Not a line I really want directed towards me on my birthday.

Ag

They turned it into a clown show, Reverend.
David Brock from Media Matters just now on Politics Nation sharing that apparently he is unfamiliar with the word, “circus.”
When I die, and they go through my browser history, I want it known I was trying to find out if I could be allergic to Irish Spring. 

I swear. 

On an unrelated note, anyone have any Chapstick?

Ag

When I die, and they go through my browser history, I want it known I was trying to find out if I could be allergic to Irish Spring.

I swear.

On an unrelated note, anyone have any Chapstick?

Ag

Our decision to always refer to it as "The N Word" must make it tough to be a Cornhusker.
Broadcaster: They're proud of the big "N" on their helmet!
Her: Hey!!!! That's terrible!
Me: No, no, no. It's okay. It's actually the letter "N."
Her: ...
Me : ...
Her: Oh. Poor Nebraska.
Me: Yeah.

intellectual-stupidity:

quick PSA:

don’t have sex with your best friend, ya’ll

can’t end well

Dog is man’s best friend so, yeah. I tend to agree.

Ag