Well, That's Just Great
I hate that as I grow older that all the wrong parts of my brain start to malfunction. My memory gets worse. I struggle for the right words. I can’t learn new things. Why can’t those parts stay healthy and the other parts start to malfunction? Wouldn’t it be nice if after a lifetime of dealing with this crap the parts of my brain in charge of my anxiety, my depression, and my need to finish that whole f’ing pizza started to be a little less effective at their jobs?!
Ag
Nothing better than being a perfectionist who also is not particularly good at anything.
Ag
It’s not healthy to dwell on the times in the past when I have disappointed myself and others so I try to change things up every now and then by specifically focusing on my many guaranteed future failings as a human being.
Ag
Usually a little from column A and a little from column B
Him: How are you at multitasking?
Me: Great. In fact for years I've managed to be both anxious and depressed at the same time.
I don’t know which hurt more: the fear that people were thinking horrible things about me or the realization that they weren’t thinking about me at all.
Ag
Guide: Why I am eating right now.

In decreasing order of likelihood:

  1. I’m depressed.
  2. I’m anxious.
  3. I’m bored.
  4. I’m happy.
  5. I’m not feeling well.
  6. I’m feeling pretty good.
  7. I just exercised.
  8. I skipped exercising so the hell with this.
  9. I’m trying to avoid engaging in conversation.
  10. I’m celebrating.
  11. I’m mourning.
  12. I don’t want to waste food.
  13. I’m thirsty.
  14. It was suggested that I try the grey stuff and indeed it was delicious.
  15. The tides.
  16. It’s an affectation but dammit I have no other way to make this character memorable.
  17. Still mad about Amazing Spider-Man and Amazing Spider-Man 2.
  18. Really? You’re not going to finish that?
  19. Just testing to see if it’s done.
  20. I’m hungry.
Her: What's bothering you?
Me: Every mistake and poor decision I've made in my life since kindergarten. In no particular sequence and for no particular reason. But one after another in pretty rapid succession.
Her: ...
Me: I was supposed to say, "Nothing. I'm fine. Don't worry about it," wasn't I?

lyssabby-tgod:

You ever get a gut feeling something isn’t right?

The question is, “What’s it like to NOT have that feeling?”

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Thanks, Daddy.
Me: For what?
Ducky: For being you.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: You mean for feeding you and petting you and playing with you?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I don’t think that’s what I said. But since you just mentioned feeding me I forget.
Me: Sorry.
Ducky: So let’s try this again. Thank you for being you, Daddy. Thanks for being in my life.
Me: …
Ducky: I appreciate the things you do for me. But what I’m most thankful for is that you’re my Daddy.
Me: …
Ducky: Just felt like telling you. You look down today. So I thought I’d remind you.
Me: Thanks, Duck.
Ducky: Sorry you’re down, Daddy. But I just wanted to let you know that I’m happier with you around than I would be if you weren’t. Try to remember that, okay?
Me: Okay. Thanks, Ducky.
Ducky: You’re welcome.
Me: …
Ducky: Plenty of room down here on the floor if you feel like snuggling
Me: Thanks, Ducky. Sounds good.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you too, Ducky.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Thanks, Daddy.

Me: For what?

Ducky: For being you.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: You mean for feeding you and petting you and playing with you?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I don’t think that’s what I said. But since you just mentioned feeding me I forget.

Me: Sorry.

Ducky: So let’s try this again. Thank you for being you, Daddy. Thanks for being in my life.

Me:

Ducky: I appreciate the things you do for me. But what I’m most thankful for is that you’re my Daddy.

Me:

Ducky: Just felt like telling you. You look down today. So I thought I’d remind you.

Me: Thanks, Duck.

Ducky: Sorry you’re down, Daddy. But I just wanted to let you know that I’m happier with you around than I would be if you weren’t. Try to remember that, okay?

Me: Okay. Thanks, Ducky.

Ducky: You’re welcome.

Me:

Ducky: Plenty of room down here on the floor if you feel like snuggling

Me: Thanks, Ducky. Sounds good.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you too, Ducky.

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

Ducky is supportive