You ever get a gut feeling something isn’t right?
The question is, “What’s it like to NOT have that feeling?”
Ducky: Thanks, Daddy.
Me: For what?
Ducky: For being you.
Me: You mean for feeding you and petting you and playing with you?
Ducky: I don’t think that’s what I said. But since you just mentioned feeding me I forget.
Ducky: So let’s try this again. Thank you for being you, Daddy. Thanks for being in my life.
Ducky: I appreciate the things you do for me. But what I’m most thankful for is that you’re my Daddy.
Ducky: Just felt like telling you. You look down today. So I thought I’d remind you.
Me: Thanks, Duck.
Ducky: Sorry you’re down, Daddy. But I just wanted to let you know that I’m happier with you around than I would be if you weren’t. Try to remember that, okay?
Me: Okay. Thanks, Ducky.
Ducky: You’re welcome.
Ducky: Plenty of room down here on the floor if you feel like snuggling
Me: Thanks, Ducky. Sounds good.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you too, Ducky.
…so tomorrow I plan to explain how I have the unique ability to instantaneously get thoroughly sick to my stomach by suddenly recalling some tiny mistake I made at some long-since-passed moment of my life for absolutely no discernible reason.
It’s a gift.
Ducky: What what?
Me: Why are you looking at me?
Ducky: You look sad.
Ducky: It’s okay. No reason to apologize. Just thought I’d keep my eyes on you.
Me: It’s not your job.
Ducky: True. But as a dog, my employment options are limited to begin with. The upside is I have lots of discretionary time, some of which I am choosing to spend by keeping my eyes on you because you look sad.
Ducky: Any specific reason you’re sad today?
Me: Nothing. And everything.
Ducky: One of those sads.
Ducky: Sorry. I know you hate those the worst.
Ducky: Want to give me a bath?
Me: You hate baths.
Ducky: Yes. But you never seem sad when you’re giving me a bath.
Me: I just think giving you a bath requires a lot of focused attention. It’s hard to be sad when you’re mentally engaged.
Ducky: I am not an easy bathing, I admit.
Me: If I’m not careful you’ll jump out of the tub.
Ducky: And then…HONDURAS!!!
Me: That’s the plan?
Ducky: There’s really no plan beyond getting out of the tub. But I thought you’d find a Honduran bath escape amusing.
Me: Well done.
Ducky: So if you gave me a bath you might forget that you’re sad for a little bit!
Me: Maybe. Or maybe I could play tugger with you for a little bit instead.
Ducky: That works too?
Me: It occupies my mind too, which is probably what I need.
Ducky: I don’t want to influence your decision but tugger sounds like a much better solution.
Me: Agreed. But you would have let me give you bath if it would have made me less sad, huh?
Ducky: If it would have helped? Yup!
Ducky: But let’s not dwell on ideas that we generated as part of the brainstorming process now that we have identified the best fit solution.
Me: Sounds good to me. I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you too , Daddy. Oh! And Happy Daddy’s Day, Daddy!
Me: Thanks, Duck.
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Apparently if you have an anxiety disorder you can go backwards in time.
Are you kidding? I can go back to that exact moment when I was 6 and I said something embarrassing any time I like.
well that’s just painfully accurate
I was sick to my stomach today about something I did in middle school…27 years ago.