Well, That's Just Great
wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Don’t talk to me.
Me: You’re going to feel so much better!
Ducky: You always say that.
Me: You seem to always need the reminder.
Ducky: I wouldn’t say I need a reminder. You seem to need a rationalization for regularly water boarding me.
Me: I am not water boarding you.
Ducky: That’s for the courts to decide.
Me: Do you even know what water boarding is?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I believe water is involved…
Me: …
Ducky: …and it is unpleasant…
Me: …
Ducky: and it involves unwilling participation. So…
Me: There’s more to it than that.
Ducky: I know. You also use soap.
Me: No. I mean…
Ducky: Doggie torture!
Me: Stop. It’s just a bath. And you’ve been itchy.
Ducky: I don’t recall telling you that I’ve been itchy.
Me: You’ve given subtle visual cues.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: The constant scratching?
Me: The constant scratching.
Ducky: I’d hoped you hadn’t noticed.
Me: Almost done, Duck. Just need to let the soap soak in a little. Hey you know what could help pass the time?
Ducky: Filing affidavits?
Me: There’s a Ducky song about baths!
Ducky: …
Me: My parents used to sing it to me!
Ducky: …
Me: I could sing it to you. Carry on the tradition for another generation!
Ducky: Don’t…
Me: Rubber Ducky, you’re the one! You make bath time lots of fun!
Ducky: Is singing the thing that makes it water boarding?
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Want a special “paw-tographed” copy of our book, "Well, That’s Just Ducky! A Dog Is Man’s Best Therapist?" Head over to wellthats.com  for information on that and on links to all the places you can order our first book! And keep visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Don’t talk to me.

Me: You’re going to feel so much better!

Ducky: You always say that.

Me: You seem to always need the reminder.

Ducky: I wouldn’t say I need a reminder. You seem to need a rationalization for regularly water boarding me.

Me: I am not water boarding you.

Ducky: That’s for the courts to decide.

Me: Do you even know what water boarding is?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I believe water is involved…

Me:

Ducky: …and it is unpleasant…

Me:

Ducky: and it involves unwilling participation. So…

Me: There’s more to it than that.

Ducky: I know. You also use soap.

Me: No. I mean…

Ducky: Doggie torture!

Me: Stop. It’s just a bath. And you’ve been itchy.

Ducky: I don’t recall telling you that I’ve been itchy.

Me: You’ve given subtle visual cues.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: The constant scratching?

Me: The constant scratching.

Ducky: I’d hoped you hadn’t noticed.

Me: Almost done, Duck. Just need to let the soap soak in a little. Hey you know what could help pass the time?

Ducky: Filing affidavits?

Me: There’s a Ducky song about baths!

Ducky:

Me: My parents used to sing it to me!

Ducky:

Me: I could sing it to you. Carry on the tradition for another generation!

Ducky: Don’t…

Me: Rubber Ducky, you’re the one! You make bath time lots of fun!

Ducky: Is singing the thing that makes it water boarding?

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Want a special “paw-tographed” copy of our book, "Well, That’s Just Ducky! A Dog Is Man’s Best Therapist?" Head over to wellthats.com  for information on that and on links to all the places you can order our first book! And keep visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: You feeling okay, Ducky?
Ducky: Sure. Just tired.
Me: No more than usual?
Ducky: No. Why?
Me: I just worry about you. Want to make sure you’re okay. Don’t want to assume.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Did something happen?
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Do you remember me telling you about Daisy?
Ducky: The doggie that lives with Grandma and Grandpa?
Me: Yeah. Well, I just found out that she passed away.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: That makes me sad.
Me: Me too.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Didn’t you tell me that Grandma and Grandpa saved Daisy?
Me: Yeah. Daisy was living with some people who weren’t treating her well. Hurting her. And when there was an opportunity to get her out of that situation, they did.
Ducky: Is that what all humans would do?
Me: No. Not all.
Ducky: Lucky for Daisy that your parents were around.
Me: Yeah.
Ducky: And were in the market for a doggie!
Me: Ha. No. No, I don’t think they particularly wanted a doggie at all at that point.
Ducky: But they still did it?
Me: Yeah.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: How long ago was that?
Me: I really don’t remember. A lot of years.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Did they treat her better?
Me: They treated her wonderfully. They loved her very much.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I’m glad they found her. And gave her a lot of good years.
Me: Me too.
Ducky: A lot of doggies don’t ever get that.
Me: No. No they don’t.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky:  But it’s still okay that you’re sad.
Me: I know.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I’m glad you found me.
Me: I’m glad we found each other.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Walks keep me healthy.
Me: Yes they do.
Ducky: Want to go for a walk and you can tell me more about Daisy? And maybe we can talk about Foley too?
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: That sounds like a very good idea. 
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you very much, Ducky.
Thanks for visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: You feeling okay, Ducky?

Ducky: Sure. Just tired.

Me: No more than usual?

Ducky: No. Why?

Me: I just worry about you. Want to make sure you’re okay. Don’t want to assume.

Ducky:

Me: …

Ducky: Did something happen?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Do you remember me telling you about Daisy?

Ducky: The doggie that lives with Grandma and Grandpa?

Me: Yeah. Well, I just found out that she passed away.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That makes me sad.

Me: Me too.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Didn’t you tell me that Grandma and Grandpa saved Daisy?

Me: Yeah. Daisy was living with some people who weren’t treating her well. Hurting her. And when there was an opportunity to get her out of that situation, they did.

Ducky: Is that what all humans would do?

Me: No. Not all.

Ducky: Lucky for Daisy that your parents were around.

Me: Yeah.

Ducky: And were in the market for a doggie!

Me: Ha. No. No, I don’t think they particularly wanted a doggie at all at that point.

Ducky: But they still did it?

Me: Yeah.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How long ago was that?

Me: I really don’t remember. A lot of years.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Did they treat her better?

Me: They treated her wonderfully. They loved her very much.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I’m glad they found her. And gave her a lot of good years.

Me: Me too.

Ducky: A lot of doggies don’t ever get that.

Me: No. No they don’t.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky:  But it’s still okay that you’re sad.

Me: I know.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I’m glad you found me.

Me: I’m glad we found each other.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Walks keep me healthy.

Me: Yes they do.

Ducky: Want to go for a walk and you can tell me more about Daisy? And maybe we can talk about Foley too?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: That sounds like a very good idea. 

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you very much, Ducky.

Thanks for visiting us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for all the latest Ducky news and a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

The new post from yesterday over at wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.How’s the book coming?
Me: We should be able to order a proof this week.
Ducky: …
Me: Good. Things are coming good.
Ducky: Good. 
Me: I thought this would be a good week for us to write one of the posts that people earned by contributing.
Ducky: Write one of the what that who earned by how now?
Me: Sandy from Pennsylvania contributed to our campaign and we agreed to write a post on the topic of her choosing.
Ducky:  We?
Me: I agreed that we would do it.
Ducky: Any other contractual obligations to which you have committed me?
Me: Several. But let’s focus on this for now.
Ducky: I don’t even know this “Sandy.”
Me: Not to worry. She gave us a couple of options and one of them is to talk about how you feel about cats! 
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: And the other option?
Me: Come on! Cats!
Ducky: I do not like cats. End of post. How much did she pay for that?
Me: Come on. Maybe we could delve into why you don’t like cats. Learn something new. Gain some insight into the root causes of cat and dog dysfunction.
Ducky: …
Me: ...
Ducky: I am not interested in providing free publicity to my nemeses.
Me: Technically she paid so it’s not free…
Ducky: What is the other option?
Me: I don’t think it’s a good choice for you.
Ducky: I keep telling you I’m smarter than you give me credit for. I can wax philosophical on any number of topics. Let’s hear it.
Me: The Alabama Crimson Tide.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Okay.
Me: Have any clarifying questions?
Ducky: A few.  First, what is an “Alabama Crimson Tide.”
Me: It’s what they call the football team at the University of Alabama. I guess the other sports teams too.
Ducky: Uh huh. What does crimson mean?
Me: It’s a kind of red.
Ducky: And I have a follow-up…
Me: A tide is what the ocean does.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: So it’s like their mascot?
Me: Kind of. But they sort of have a mascot too.
Ducky: …
Me: It’s an elephant.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: A red elephant in the ocean?
Me: No. No. Just an elephant.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Cats punch me in the face and sit on the couch and hiss at me for no good reason. 
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Ag

The new post from yesterday over at wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.How’s the book coming?

Me: We should be able to order a proof this week.

Ducky:

Me: Good. Things are coming good.

Ducky: Good. 

Me: I thought this would be a good week for us to write one of the posts that people earned by contributing.

Ducky: Write one of the what that who earned by how now?

Me: Sandy from Pennsylvania contributed to our campaign and we agreed to write a post on the topic of her choosing.

Ducky:  We?

Me: I agreed that we would do it.

Ducky: Any other contractual obligations to which you have committed me?

Me: Several. But let’s focus on this for now.

Ducky: I don’t even know this “Sandy.”

Me: Not to worry. She gave us a couple of options and one of them is to talk about how you feel about cats! 

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: And the other option?

Me: Come on! Cats!

Ducky: I do not like cats. End of post. How much did she pay for that?

Me: Come on. Maybe we could delve into why you don’t like cats. Learn something new. Gain some insight into the root causes of cat and dog dysfunction.

Ducky:

Me: ...

Ducky: I am not interested in providing free publicity to my nemeses.

Me: Technically she paid so it’s not free…

Ducky: What is the other option?

Me: I don’t think it’s a good choice for you.

Ducky: I keep telling you I’m smarter than you give me credit for. I can wax philosophical on any number of topics. Let’s hear it.

Me: The Alabama Crimson Tide.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Okay.

Me: Have any clarifying questions?

Ducky: A few.  First, what is an “Alabama Crimson Tide.”

Me: It’s what they call the football team at the University of Alabama. I guess the other sports teams too.

Ducky: Uh huh. What does crimson mean?

Me: It’s a kind of red.

Ducky: And I have a follow-up…

Me: A tide is what the ocean does.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: So it’s like their mascot?

Me: Kind of. But they sort of have a mascot too.

Ducky:

Me: It’s an elephant.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: A red elephant in the ocean?

Me: No. No. Just an elephant.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Cats punch me in the face and sit on the couch and hiss at me for no good reason

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “That anthropomorphized Reese’s reads as vaguely racist.” Yes. That’s true. But that’s not what’s really disturbing. What’s really disturbing?

There are two Reese’s Cups in every pack. So that means there’s another face looking at you through the wrapper right at his crotch. 

I wouldn’t go in for that hug, young lady.

Ag

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “That anthropomorphized Reese’s reads as vaguely racist.” Yes. That’s true. But that’s not what’s really disturbing. What’s really disturbing?

There are two Reese’s Cups in every pack. So that means there’s another face looking at you through the wrapper right at his crotch.

I wouldn’t go in for that hug, young lady.

Ag

GPOYWAEAWIW (Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself With An Enormous Anthropomorphized Water Ice Wednesday)
Ag

GPOYWAEAWIW (Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself With An Enormous Anthropomorphized Water Ice Wednesday)

Ag

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post! Remember to follow wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7:00pm ET.

I’m afraid there’s no new Ducky post this week. There have been some home owner near disasters at “Well That’s Just A House” that have been a bit all consuming. We promise to be up and running again next week. Thanks for understanding!
Me: Okay, Ducky. I explained to the internet people. Now give me that adjustable wrench.
Ducky: It’s a bad solenoid.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: I know it’s probably a bad solenoid, but right now we need to stop the water from flooding the neighborhood.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: So sandbags. Sandbags would be better than a wrench.
Me: Ducky…
Ducky: Right tool for the right job, that’s what I always say.
Me: You’ve never said that.
Ducky: I’ve never said half the things you say I say but…
Me: Give me the wrench.
Ducky: Hey, doesn’t this kind of count as a post? Becau…
Me: GIVE ME THE WRENCH!!!!!
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: …
Ducky: I loooooooooove you, Daddy!
Me: I love you, Ducky.

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post! Remember to follow wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7:00pm ET.

I’m afraid there’s no new Ducky post this week. There have been some home owner near disasters at “Well That’s Just A House” that have been a bit all consuming. We promise to be up and running again next week. Thanks for understanding!

Me: Okay, Ducky. I explained to the internet people. Now give me that adjustable wrench.

Ducky: It’s a bad solenoid.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: I know it’s probably a bad solenoid, but right now we need to stop the water from flooding the neighborhood.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: So sandbags. Sandbags would be better than a wrench.

Me: Ducky…

Ducky: Right tool for the right job, that’s what I always say.

Me: You’ve never said that.

Ducky: I’ve never said half the things you say I say but…

Me: Give me the wrench.

Ducky: Hey, doesn’t this kind of count as a post? Becau…

Me: GIVE ME THE WRENCH!!!!!

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me:

Ducky: I loooooooooove you, Daddy!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

This week’s new Ducky post! Remember to follow or visit wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!~

Me: You love your flamingo, Ducky?
Ducky: Yes. I love my flingo.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Is that his leg back there?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Don’t judge how I show my love.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love my flingo.
Me: …
Ducky: And you.
Ag

This week’s new Ducky post! Remember to follow or visit wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!~

Me: You love your flamingo, Ducky?

Ducky: Yes. I love my flingo.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Is that his leg back there?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Don’t judge how I show my love.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love my flingo.

Me:

Ducky: And you.

Ag

This past Sunday’s new Ducky post. Remember to follow wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7pm ET!

Me: You okay, Ducky?
Ducky: So so.
Me: What’s wrong?
Ducky: The Lady is on my pillow.
Me: Pretty sure that’s not your pillow.
Ducky: I am on it.
Me: And so is she. So why don’t we call it our pillow?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: She’s hogging our pillow.
Me: She’s on less of it than you. And she was on it first.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Quisling.
Me: You look comfy.
Ducky: I would look comfier with full pillow support. You’d be amazed.
Me: Uh huh. You know not every person would share a pillow with a dog.
Ducky: Not every dog would share a pillow with The Lady.
Me: I guess so. So you’re both pretty lucky.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: You seem very positive about things this evening.
Me: Yeah? I guess I’m feeling pretty positive about things.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Why?
Me: I’m just pretty lucky, Ducky. I don’t always feel that way, and bad things still happen, but I have you. The Lady loves me. Things could be a lot worse.
Ducky: …
Me: It’s nice that, at least for now, the biggest conflict in my family is over pillow space.
Ducky: I guess things could be worse.
Me: Yes they could. 
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: But more pillow space would be nice.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

This past Sunday’s new Ducky post. Remember to follow wellthatsjustducky for new Ducky posts every Sunday at 7pm ET!

Me: You okay, Ducky?

Ducky: So so.

Me: What’s wrong?

Ducky: The Lady is on my pillow.

Me: Pretty sure that’s not your pillow.

Ducky: I am on it.

Me: And so is she. So why don’t we call it our pillow?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: She’s hogging our pillow.

Me: She’s on less of it than you. And she was on it first.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Quisling.

Me: You look comfy.

Ducky: I would look comfier with full pillow support. You’d be amazed.

Me: Uh huh. You know not every person would share a pillow with a dog.

Ducky: Not every dog would share a pillow with The Lady.

Me: I guess so. So you’re both pretty lucky.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: You seem very positive about things this evening.

Me: Yeah? I guess I’m feeling pretty positive about things.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Why?

Me: I’m just pretty lucky, Ducky. I don’t always feel that way, and bad things still happen, but I have you. The Lady loves me. Things could be a lot worse.

Ducky: …

Me: It’s nice that, at least for now, the biggest conflict in my family is over pillow space.

Ducky: I guess things could be worse.

Me: Yes they could. 

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: But more pillow space would be nice.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: She’s not sharing.
Me: She doesn’t have to.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Seems rude.
Me: It is what it is.
Ducky: But I love popcorn.
Me: You’ve never had popcorn.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I feel confident I would love popcorn.
Me: How about a carrot? You like carrots.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I do like carrots.
Me: …
Ducky: But popcorn smells like I would like it more than carrots.
Me: You’ll never know. No popcorn for you. 
Ducky: …
Me: Two carrots, and you can accidentally step on the lady as you follow me into the kitchen.
Ducky: Seems rude. I like it.
The Lady: What?
Ducky & Me: Nothing.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy,
Ag

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: She’s not sharing.

Me: She doesn’t have to.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Seems rude.

Me: It is what it is.

Ducky: But I love popcorn.

Me: You’ve never had popcorn.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I feel confident I would love popcorn.

Me: How about a carrot? You like carrots.

Ducky:

Me: …

Ducky: I do like carrots.

Me:

Ducky: But popcorn smells like I would like it more than carrots.

Me: You’ll never know. No popcorn for you. 

Ducky:

Me: Two carrots, and you can accidentally step on the lady as you follow me into the kitchen.

Ducky: Seems rude. I like it.

The Lady: What?

Ducky & Me: Nothing.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy,

Ag

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post from wellthatsjustducky. Remember to follow us over there for new posts every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

Ducky: This is weird.
Me: I thought it might make bath time less stressful.
Ducky: I didn’t know baths made you stressed.
Me: Not me, you.
Ducky: I don’t like baths.
Me: I am aware of that.
Ducky: And you thought adding another body to the tub would make it more enjoyable?
Me: It’s like a party.
Ducky: …
Me: Party in the tub!
Ducky: This is weird.
Me: Well sue me for trying something new.
Ducky: You’re wearing pants in the bath tub. That’s weird.
Me: It’s a swimsuit.
Ducky: I’m not wearing a swimsuit. Why are you?
Me: If I wasn’t this would be weird.
Ducky: …
Me: Weirder.
Ducky: Rinse me, old man.
Me: Me first.
Ducky: Weirdo.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Ag

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post from wellthatsjustducky. Remember to follow us over there for new posts every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

Ducky: This is weird.

Me: I thought it might make bath time less stressful.

Ducky: I didn’t know baths made you stressed.

Me: Not me, you.

Ducky: I don’t like baths.

Me: I am aware of that.

Ducky: And you thought adding another body to the tub would make it more enjoyable?

Me: It’s like a party.

Ducky:

Me: Party in the tub!

Ducky: This is weird.

Me: Well sue me for trying something new.

Ducky: You’re wearing pants in the bath tub. That’s weird.

Me: It’s a swimsuit.

Ducky: I’m not wearing a swimsuit. Why are you?

Me: If I wasn’t this would be weird.

Ducky:

Me: Weirder.

Ducky: Rinse me, old man.

Me: Me first.

Ducky: Weirdo.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag