wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: She’s not sharing.

Me: She doesn’t have to.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Seems rude.

Me: It is what it is.

Ducky: But I love popcorn.

Me: You’ve never had popcorn.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: I feel confident I would love popcorn.

Me: How about a carrot? You like carrots.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: I do like carrots.

Me: …

Ducky: But popcorn smells like I would like it more than carrots.

Me: You’ll never know. No popcorn for you. 

Ducky: …

Me: Two carrots, and you can accidentally step on the lady as you follow me into the kitchen.

Ducky: Seems rude. I like it.

The Lady: What?

Ducky & Me: Nothing.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy,

Ag

Last Sunday’s new Ducky post from wellthatsjustducky. Remember to follow us over there for new posts every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

Ducky: This is weird.

Me: I thought it might make bath time less stressful.

Ducky: I didn’t know baths made you stressed.

Me: Not me, you.

Ducky: I don’t like baths.

Me: I am aware of that.

Ducky: And you thought adding another body to the tub would make it more enjoyable?

Me: It’s like a party.

Ducky: …

Me: Party in the tub!

Ducky: This is weird.

Me: Well sue me for trying something new.

Ducky: You’re wearing pants in the bath tub. That’s weird.

Me: It’s a swimsuit.

Ducky: I’m not wearing a swimsuit. Why are you?

Me: If I wasn’t this would be weird.

Ducky: …

Me: Weirder.

Ducky: Rinse me, old man.

Me: Me first.

Ducky: Weirdo.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag

This week’s new Ducky post! Remember, there’s a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 pm ET at wellthatsjustducky!

Ducky: Hmm.

Me: What?

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: You’re in my yard.

Me: …

Ducky: In a tree bag.

Me: Hammock.

Ducky: …

Me: Want to come up?

Ducky: Looks wobbly.

Me: It swings.

Ducky: Uh huh. Think I’ll stay down…wait.

Me: What?

Ducky: Got any food up there?

Me: Nope.

Ducky: Right. Think I’ll stay down here.

Me: Okay.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: What?!

Ducky: You know you have a bed, right?

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: And a sofa. And you nap on the floor all the time.

Me: Right.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: But you felt the need to hang a bag in a tree in the yard and sleep in it.

Me: People are funny.

Ducky: “Funny” is one word for it.

Me: …

Ducky: Weirdo.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, weirdo.

Me: …

Ducky: Daddy.

Ag

Last Sunday’s new Ducky Post from wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: You look tired.

Me: I am.

Ducky: Ran again today?

Me: Yup. A half marathon. And we saw a doggie run the whole thing with his daddy!

Ducky: …

Me: Over 13 miles.

Ducky: …

Me: Maybe we could start training you for that.

Ducky: …

Me: ..

Ducky: No need. I am already tired fairly regularly. 

Me: That’s not why you run.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: How long was that doggie running?

Me: About two and a half hours.

Ducky: Uh huh. And while that doggie was doing that, what was I doing?

Me: I’m guessing sleeping.

Ducky: Since I was asleep from the time you left until now, good guess.

Me: Not interested in running?

Ducky: I’m not saying that. But I’m working on soaring with my strengths first.

Me: You are good at sleeping.

Ducky: Yup. Slept all morning. You know what I have planned for the afternoon?

Me: Sleeping?

Ducky: Bingo. I’m pulling a double. I bet that dog isn’t doing another half marathon.

Me: No, I would bet not.

Ducky: What do you think he is doing this afternoon?

Me: Probably sleeping.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Jack of all trades, master of none.

Me: That’s one way of looking at it.

Ducky: Thanks for wanting to run with me.

Me: Always want to be with you, Duck. But I think you’re right. Focus on the sleeping. It’s your special gift.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ag

Smile Friday: “There Is Nothing About This Anthropomorphized Syrup Bottle That Doesn’t Disturb Me” Edition.

His arms come out where his ears should be and are so short he couldn’t possibly reach his glasses that are on his “forehead.” The only way I can process his anatomy is to decide his cap is his head, and his glasses are his real eyes. Then the arms make sense. But that means the other face bursting from his chest like some chocolatey Hershey Syrup Kuato.

But maybe I’m over thinking it.

Ag

Merry Christmas Eve From Ducky!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: It’s almost Christmas, Ducky.

Ducky: Already? 

Me: Time flies when you have no sense of it, huh?

Ducky: Oh, geez! I haven’t heard someone bring up that old myth for years.

Me: Three weeks.

Ducky: Really?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Time flies.

Me: I see a present under the tree from you for me.

Ducky: Yup. 

Me: Thank you.

Ducky: The Lady helped me.

Me: I assumed.

Ducky: I assume there’s a little something for me under there?

Me: Of course. The Lady helped with those too.

Ducky: I assumed. She has proven useful. We should keep her.

Me: That is the plan.

Ducky: The cat can go.

Me: I’m afraid they’re a package deal.

Ducky: …

Me: Like you and me.

Ducky: …

Me: Like a cooler version of you and me?

Ducky: Unless you are comparing yourself to the one of them that’s allowed to poop in a box in the house, I am uncomfortable with the analogy.

Me: Technically they’re both allowed to poop in a box in the house. They Lady just prefers the toilet.

Ducky: …

Me: Just one of the little things I love about her.

Ducky: …

Me: Her preference for toilets over boxes.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: The Lady increases the chances that your dinners don’t get delayed when I work late.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Fine. The cat can stay.

Me: That’s the Christmas spirit!

Ducky: Let’s wrap her.

Me: That’s less festive.

Ducky: Merry Christmas, Daddy.

Me: Merry Christmas, Ducky.

Me: Ducky.

Ducky: ...

Me: Ducky

Ducky: Shhhh!

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: I have food too, Ducky.

Ducky: …

Me: The Lady isn’t going to give you food.

Ducky: She might. She did earlier.

Me: No. You took the food out of her hand.

Ducky: I think she carried it low on purpose.

Me: She wouldn’t do that.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Really?

Me: Yeah. She might.

Ducky: She’s on my side, old man.

Me: I don’t think…

Ducky: Shhhh!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, food.

Me: …

Ducky: Daddy. I love you, Daddy.

Ag

Last Sunday’s New Ducky Post From wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: New tree?

Me: Yup. The lady brought it from her old house.

Ducky: Smells like the cat.

Me: Scooter used to live in that house, yes.

Ducky: We were looking to further increase the cat stink in here?

Me: It doesn’t smell like cat in here.

Ducky: Acclimation, thy name is human nose.

Me: …

Ducky: See, dogs have good sniffers.

Me: Yes, I know.

Ducky: What was wrong with our old tree?

Me: Remember how it used to fall on you?

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: That’s not a Christmas tradition everywhere?

Me: No. Just here.

Ducky: Can’t say I’ll miss it.

Me: Me neither.

Ducky: We should start a new tradition!

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: We are not going to try to make the new tree fall on Scooter.

Ducky: I just want her to feel like part of the family during the cherished holiday season.

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: And I enjoy upsetting that cat.

Me: I know you do. But no cat squashing.

Ducky: Okay, Mr. Grinch. I love you.

Me: Love you too, Ducky.

Ag

Last Sunday’s New Ducky Post

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: Can I help you?

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: Oh. Do you think it’s dinner ti…

Ducky: YES!!!!!!!!

Me: Naw. We still have an hour. 

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: Don’t lie to me, old man. 

Me: No. I know it’s dark but we set the clocks back this week.

Ducky: …

Me: …

Ducky: You also changed the sheets. Is the bed now a car?

Me: Pardon?

Ducky: Clocks measure time, they do not change it into something new just because you adjusted them.

Me: …

Ducky: …

Me: I thought dogs had no sense of time?

Ducky: That’s a myth.

Me: So you’re saying…

Ducky: Feed me or I’ll eat your face.

Me: Fair enough. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag