Well, That's Just Great
wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: It’s dinnertime!
Me: No it’s not, Ducky.
Ducky: Yes it is!
Me: Afraid not.
Ducky: I specifically heard you say “Dinnertime!”
Me: The Lady and I are going out for a little bit. I said to her that we need to be home by dinnertime.
Ducky: There it is again! Two dinnertimes! Double foods!!!
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: I think you’re confused about how dinnertime works.
Ducky: Three-sies!
Me: But that’s pretty good counting for a dog.
Ducky: You say, “Dinnertime!” and then you get up and scoop my food into my bowl. Every time.
Me: I say it to announce that it’s dinnertime…
Ducky: Four! Better get started!
Me: Saying, “Dinnertime!” acknowledges dinnertime. It doesn’t trigger dinnertime.
Ducky: I’m going to need a bigger collar.
Me: It’s noon, Ducky. I’m sorry I said that word.
Ducky: What word?
Me: …
Ducky: I may be hungry.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: It’s dinnertime!

Me: No it’s not, Ducky.

Ducky: Yes it is!

Me: Afraid not.

Ducky: I specifically heard you say “Dinnertime!”

Me: The Lady and I are going out for a little bit. I said to her that we need to be home by dinnertime.

Ducky: There it is again! Two dinnertimes! Double foods!!!

Me:

Ducky:

Me: I think you’re confused about how dinnertime works.

Ducky: Three-sies!

Me: But that’s pretty good counting for a dog.

Ducky: You say, “Dinnertime!” and then you get up and scoop my food into my bowl. Every time.

Me: I say it to announce that it’s dinnertime…

Ducky: Four! Better get started!

Me: Saying, “Dinnertime!” acknowledges dinnertime. It doesn’t trigger dinnertime.

Ducky: I’m going to need a bigger collar.

Me: It’s noon, Ducky. I’m sorry I said that word.

Ducky: What word?

Me:

Ducky: I may be hungry.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.
Me: Yes, Ducky?
Ducky: Wanna’ play?
Me: Maybe later.
Ducky: Okie dokie.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Hey, Da…
Me: Later than that, Duck.
Ducky: Ah.
Me: …
Ducky: How much later?
Me: Maybe after the game is over. So like two hours.
Ducky: Ah! Good! Two hours.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Hey, Da…
Me: It hasn’t been two hours yet.
Ducky: No way to know. Lost my watch.
Me: You have no watch. Nor sense of time.
Ducky: That’s a myth.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: How about now? Two hours yet? The sun seems lower in the sky.
Me: We’re inside.
Ducky: Ah. That’s a lamp.
Me: … 
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Sooooooo…
Me: Fine. How about I throw your tugger a bit during the game? If you bring it back I’ll keep throwing it.
Ducky: Multitasking! Easier for dogs with thumbs!
Me: Humans.
Ducky: You have a right to be called whatever you want to be called. No skin off my nose.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Hey, Daddy.

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: Wanna’ play?

Me: Maybe later.

Ducky: Okie dokie.

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Hey, Da…

Me: Later than that, Duck.

Ducky: Ah.

Me:

Ducky: How much later?

Me: Maybe after the game is over. So like two hours.

Ducky: Ah! Good! Two hours.

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Hey, Da…

Me: It hasn’t been two hours yet.

Ducky: No way to know. Lost my watch.

Me: You have no watch. Nor sense of time.

Ducky: That’s a myth.

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: How about now? Two hours yet? The sun seems lower in the sky.

Me: We’re inside.

Ducky: Ah. That’s a lamp.

Me: … 

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Sooooooo…

Me: Fine. How about I throw your tugger a bit during the game? If you bring it back I’ll keep throwing it.

Ducky: Multitasking! Easier for dogs with thumbs!

Me: Humans.

Ducky: You have a right to be called whatever you want to be called. No skin off my nose.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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Ducky would like to play, please!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Daddy?
Me: I know.
Ducky: The cat is swatting me in the face.
Me: Well, not really.
Ducky: The cat is swatting towards my face.
Me: Well…
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: The cat is trying to swat in the general direction of my face without having to get up. 
Me: There you go! That’s a more apt description.
Ducky: Too lazy to get up to swat me.
Me: Kinda looks like she’d like you to help.
Ducky: Yes. It does appear she would like me to swing my face into her paw for her.
Me: Well?
Ducky: Not going to happen.
Me: Fair enough.
Ducky: This cat is just a big hairy ball of sloth and woe.
Me: Thanks for putting up with her.
Ducky: Thanks for putting her food where I can reach it.
Me: What?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: …
Ducky: Ow my eye?
Me: I love you too, Ducky.
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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Daddy?

Me: I know.

Ducky: The cat is swatting me in the face.

Me: Well, not really.

Ducky: The cat is swatting towards my face.

Me: Well…

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: The cat is trying to swat in the general direction of my face without having to get up. 

Me: There you go! That’s a more apt description.

Ducky: Too lazy to get up to swat me.

Me: Kinda looks like she’d like you to help.

Ducky: Yes. It does appear she would like me to swing my face into her paw for her.

Me: Well?

Ducky: Not going to happen.

Me: Fair enough.

Ducky: This cat is just a big hairy ball of sloth and woe.

Me: Thanks for putting up with her.

Ducky: Thanks for putting her food where I can reach it.

Me: What?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me:

Ducky: Ow my eye?

Me: I love you too, Ducky.

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy.
Me: Yes they are. Lots. We have fourteen people coming for dinner.
Ducky: That sounds like a lot.
Me: It is.
Ducky: But you have a lot of noodles there.
Me: Yeah. Should be enough.
Ducky: Enough?
Me: For everyone.
Ducky: …
Me: Including you. Don’t worry.
Ducky: Oh good. I was worried you forgot I like your noodles.
Me: No. I couldn’t forget. Certainly not with how close you’ve stayed during the process.
Ducky: I thought I should stay close in case you needed help.
Me: In case I needed help?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: In case you dropped a noodle.
Me: I thought so.
Ducky: The help I could give would be limited anyway.
Me: No thumbs?
Ducky: No thumbs.
Me: I appreciate the thought. And don’t worry. As soon as the first batch is boiled, you’ll get your noodle.
Ducky: Oh g…
Me: …
Ducky: Noodle?
Me: Yes. Noodle.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy. Noodles. Plural.
Me: I know. But you can’t have too many. They’re not good for you. 
Ducky: …
Me: I have to keep you healthy.
Ducky: Not as concerned with the health of your fourteen guests?
Me: If you knew what I put in my sauce you’d know the answer to that question.
Ducky: There’s sauce?
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy.

Me: Yes they are. Lots. We have fourteen people coming for dinner.

Ducky: That sounds like a lot.

Me: It is.

Ducky: But you have a lot of noodles there.

Me: Yeah. Should be enough.

Ducky: Enough?

Me: For everyone.

Ducky:

Me: Including you. Don’t worry.

Ducky: Oh good. I was worried you forgot I like your noodles.

Me: No. I couldn’t forget. Certainly not with how close you’ve stayed during the process.

Ducky: I thought I should stay close in case you needed help.

Me: In case I needed help?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: In case you dropped a noodle.

Me: I thought so.

Ducky: The help I could give would be limited anyway.

Me: No thumbs?

Ducky: No thumbs.

Me: I appreciate the thought. And don’t worry. As soon as the first batch is boiled, you’ll get your noodle.

Ducky: Oh g…

Me:

Ducky: Noodle?

Me: Yes. Noodle.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy. Noodles. Plural.

Me: I know. But you can’t have too many. They’re not good for you. 

Ducky:

Me: I have to keep you healthy.

Ducky: Not as concerned with the health of your fourteen guests?

Me: If you knew what I put in my sauce you’d know the answer to that question.

Ducky: There’s sauce?

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Miss me, Duck?
Ducky: Shhh. Sleeping.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Well, I missed you.
Ducky: Good. Think of that next time you think about abandoning me for a year.
Me: Three nights.
Ducky: Shhh. Sleeping.
Me: …
Ducky: Have fun on your floating house of bath terror?
Me: It was a nice cruise. But I missed you.
Ducky: …
Me: Nice to be used as your pillow again.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I didn’t get much sleep while you were gone.
Me: I’m sorry. I heard the people next door were loud.
Ducky: The people next door were very loud.
Me: Sorry. I’m sure that made it hard to sleep.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I might have missed you too.
Me: Sorry, Duck. But I’m not going anywhere else for awhile.
Ducky: You’re going to stay here for now?
Me: Yup.
Ducky: Right here?
Me: Yup.
Ducky: Don’t need to get up and stretch your legs?
Me: Not for awhile, no.
Ducky: Then shhh! Sleeping.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy. 
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wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Miss me, Duck?

Ducky: Shhh. Sleeping.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Well, I missed you.

Ducky: Good. Think of that next time you think about abandoning me for a year.

Me: Three nights.

Ducky: Shhh. Sleeping.

Me:

Ducky: Have fun on your floating house of bath terror?

Me: It was a nice cruise. But I missed you.

Ducky:

Me: Nice to be used as your pillow again.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I didn’t get much sleep while you were gone.

Me: I’m sorry. I heard the people next door were loud.

Ducky: The people next door were very loud.

Me: Sorry. I’m sure that made it hard to sleep.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I might have missed you too.

Me: Sorry, Duck. But I’m not going anywhere else for awhile.

Ducky: You’re going to stay here for now?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: Right here?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: Don’t need to get up and stretch your legs?

Me: Not for awhile, no.

Ducky: Then shhh! Sleeping.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy. 

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We missed each other.

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: That’s my ball.
Me: Yes it is.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Trespassing and stealing. Nice.
Me: Penny is an invited guest. She’s not trespassing.
Ducky: Which makes stealing my ball even worse. Are we living in a society here or not?
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Isn’t that Penny’s fuzzy you’ve got there?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: It makes a neat squeak.
Me: Yes it does.
Ducky: Deeper than the squeak my toys make.
Me: Yup.
Ducky: …
Me: The deep squeak pleases me.
Ducky: I could tell.
Me: …
Ducky: The concept of hypocrisy exists within a grey area of canine society, Daddy. 
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: That’s my ball.

Me: Yes it is.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Trespassing and stealing. Nice.

Me: Penny is an invited guest. She’s not trespassing.

Ducky: Which makes stealing my ball even worse. Are we living in a society here or not?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Isn’t that Penny’s fuzzy you’ve got there?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: It makes a neat squeak.

Me: Yes it does.

Ducky: Deeper than the squeak my toys make.

Me: Yup.

Ducky:

Me: The deep squeak pleases me.

Ducky: I could tell.

Me:

Ducky: The concept of hypocrisy exists within a grey area of canine society, Daddy. 

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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We had a house guest.

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Why don’t you come over here, Ducky?
Ducky: Shhh.
Me: Come on.
Ducky: Shhh! It might come back. Must stay vigilant.
Me: …
Ducky: Could kill us all.
Me: …
Ducky: You, me, and The Lady.
Me: What about Scooter?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: The cat might be in cahoots with the monster.
Me: It’s a UPS woman, not a monster.
Ducky: Po-TAY-toe. Po-TAH-toe. 
Me: And Scooter is not working with the UPS woman.
Ducky: Probably what she’ll tell the police when they’re exhuming our graves in the yard.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Because they’ve killed us?
Ducky: Because they’ve killed us.
Me: …
Ducky: Of course the monster has a truck so it might take the bodies elsewhere.
Me: I don’t think…
Ducky: Shhh! I think the monster is coming back! 
Me: They only deliver once a day so…
Ducky: THERE SHE IS!!! ARRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Scared it away.
Me: That was a school bus.
Ducky: Didn’t stop, did it?
Me: Nope.
Ducky: Scared it away.
Me: ..
Ducky: Not today, monster/cat cabal. Not…today…
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Why don’t you come over here, Ducky?

Ducky: Shhh.

Me: Come on.

Ducky: Shhh! It might come back. Must stay vigilant.

Me:

Ducky: Could kill us all.

Me:

Ducky: You, me, and The Lady.

Me: What about Scooter?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: The cat might be in cahoots with the monster.

Me: It’s a UPS woman, not a monster.

Ducky: Po-TAY-toe. Po-TAH-toe. 

Me: And Scooter is not working with the UPS woman.

Ducky: Probably what she’ll tell the police when they’re exhuming our graves in the yard.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Because they’ve killed us?

Ducky: Because they’ve killed us.

Me:

Ducky: Of course the monster has a truck so it might take the bodies elsewhere.

Me: I don’t think…

Ducky: Shhh! I think the monster is coming back! 

Me: They only deliver once a day so…

Ducky: THERE SHE IS!!! ARRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Scared it away.

Me: That was a school bus.

Ducky: Didn’t stop, did it?

Me: Nope.

Ducky: Scared it away.

Me: ..

Ducky: Not today, monster/cat cabal. Not…today…

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!