Well, That's Just Great
wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy.
Me: Yes they are. Lots. We have fourteen people coming for dinner.
Ducky: That sounds like a lot.
Me: It is.
Ducky: But you have a lot of noodles there.
Me: Yeah. Should be enough.
Ducky: Enough?
Me: For everyone.
Ducky: …
Me: Including you. Don’t worry.
Ducky: Oh good. I was worried you forgot I like your noodles.
Me: No. I couldn’t forget. Certainly not with how close you’ve stayed during the process.
Ducky: I thought I should stay close in case you needed help.
Me: In case I needed help?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: In case you dropped a noodle.
Me: I thought so.
Ducky: The help I could give would be limited anyway.
Me: No thumbs?
Ducky: No thumbs.
Me: I appreciate the thought. And don’t worry. As soon as the first batch is boiled, you’ll get your noodle.
Ducky: Oh g…
Me: …
Ducky: Noodle?
Me: Yes. Noodle.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy. Noodles. Plural.
Me: I know. But you can’t have too many. They’re not good for you. 
Ducky: …
Me: I have to keep you healthy.
Ducky: Not as concerned with the health of your fourteen guests?
Me: If you knew what I put in my sauce you’d know the answer to that question.
Ducky: There’s sauce?
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy.

Me: Yes they are. Lots. We have fourteen people coming for dinner.

Ducky: That sounds like a lot.

Me: It is.

Ducky: But you have a lot of noodles there.

Me: Yeah. Should be enough.

Ducky: Enough?

Me: For everyone.

Ducky:

Me: Including you. Don’t worry.

Ducky: Oh good. I was worried you forgot I like your noodles.

Me: No. I couldn’t forget. Certainly not with how close you’ve stayed during the process.

Ducky: I thought I should stay close in case you needed help.

Me: In case I needed help?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: In case you dropped a noodle.

Me: I thought so.

Ducky: The help I could give would be limited anyway.

Me: No thumbs?

Ducky: No thumbs.

Me: I appreciate the thought. And don’t worry. As soon as the first batch is boiled, you’ll get your noodle.

Ducky: Oh g…

Me:

Ducky: Noodle?

Me: Yes. Noodle.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Those are a lot of noodles, Daddy. Noodles. Plural.

Me: I know. But you can’t have too many. They’re not good for you. 

Ducky:

Me: I have to keep you healthy.

Ducky: Not as concerned with the health of your fourteen guests?

Me: If you knew what I put in my sauce you’d know the answer to that question.

Ducky: There’s sauce?

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Miss me, Duck?
Ducky: Shhh. Sleeping.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Well, I missed you.
Ducky: Good. Think of that next time you think about abandoning me for a year.
Me: Three nights.
Ducky: Shhh. Sleeping.
Me: …
Ducky: Have fun on your floating house of bath terror?
Me: It was a nice cruise. But I missed you.
Ducky: …
Me: Nice to be used as your pillow again.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I didn’t get much sleep while you were gone.
Me: I’m sorry. I heard the people next door were loud.
Ducky: The people next door were very loud.
Me: Sorry. I’m sure that made it hard to sleep.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I might have missed you too.
Me: Sorry, Duck. But I’m not going anywhere else for awhile.
Ducky: You’re going to stay here for now?
Me: Yup.
Ducky: Right here?
Me: Yup.
Ducky: Don’t need to get up and stretch your legs?
Me: Not for awhile, no.
Ducky: Then shhh! Sleeping.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy. 
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wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Miss me, Duck?

Ducky: Shhh. Sleeping.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Well, I missed you.

Ducky: Good. Think of that next time you think about abandoning me for a year.

Me: Three nights.

Ducky: Shhh. Sleeping.

Me:

Ducky: Have fun on your floating house of bath terror?

Me: It was a nice cruise. But I missed you.

Ducky:

Me: Nice to be used as your pillow again.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I didn’t get much sleep while you were gone.

Me: I’m sorry. I heard the people next door were loud.

Ducky: The people next door were very loud.

Me: Sorry. I’m sure that made it hard to sleep.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I might have missed you too.

Me: Sorry, Duck. But I’m not going anywhere else for awhile.

Ducky: You’re going to stay here for now?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: Right here?

Me: Yup.

Ducky: Don’t need to get up and stretch your legs?

Me: Not for awhile, no.

Ducky: Then shhh! Sleeping.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy. 

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We missed each other.

wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: That’s my ball.
Me: Yes it is.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Trespassing and stealing. Nice.
Me: Penny is an invited guest. She’s not trespassing.
Ducky: Which makes stealing my ball even worse. Are we living in a society here or not?
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Isn’t that Penny’s fuzzy you’ve got there?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: It makes a neat squeak.
Me: Yes it does.
Ducky: Deeper than the squeak my toys make.
Me: Yup.
Ducky: …
Me: The deep squeak pleases me.
Ducky: I could tell.
Me: …
Ducky: The concept of hypocrisy exists within a grey area of canine society, Daddy. 
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: That’s my ball.

Me: Yes it is.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Trespassing and stealing. Nice.

Me: Penny is an invited guest. She’s not trespassing.

Ducky: Which makes stealing my ball even worse. Are we living in a society here or not?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Isn’t that Penny’s fuzzy you’ve got there?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: It makes a neat squeak.

Me: Yes it does.

Ducky: Deeper than the squeak my toys make.

Me: Yup.

Ducky:

Me: The deep squeak pleases me.

Ducky: I could tell.

Me:

Ducky: The concept of hypocrisy exists within a grey area of canine society, Daddy. 

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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We had a house guest.

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Why don’t you come over here, Ducky?
Ducky: Shhh.
Me: Come on.
Ducky: Shhh! It might come back. Must stay vigilant.
Me: …
Ducky: Could kill us all.
Me: …
Ducky: You, me, and The Lady.
Me: What about Scooter?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: The cat might be in cahoots with the monster.
Me: It’s a UPS woman, not a monster.
Ducky: Po-TAY-toe. Po-TAH-toe. 
Me: And Scooter is not working with the UPS woman.
Ducky: Probably what she’ll tell the police when they’re exhuming our graves in the yard.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: Because they’ve killed us?
Ducky: Because they’ve killed us.
Me: …
Ducky: Of course the monster has a truck so it might take the bodies elsewhere.
Me: I don’t think…
Ducky: Shhh! I think the monster is coming back! 
Me: They only deliver once a day so…
Ducky: THERE SHE IS!!! ARRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Scared it away.
Me: That was a school bus.
Ducky: Didn’t stop, did it?
Me: Nope.
Ducky: Scared it away.
Me: ..
Ducky: Not today, monster/cat cabal. Not…today…
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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wellthatsjustducky:

Me: Why don’t you come over here, Ducky?

Ducky: Shhh.

Me: Come on.

Ducky: Shhh! It might come back. Must stay vigilant.

Me:

Ducky: Could kill us all.

Me:

Ducky: You, me, and The Lady.

Me: What about Scooter?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: The cat might be in cahoots with the monster.

Me: It’s a UPS woman, not a monster.

Ducky: Po-TAY-toe. Po-TAH-toe. 

Me: And Scooter is not working with the UPS woman.

Ducky: Probably what she’ll tell the police when they’re exhuming our graves in the yard.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Because they’ve killed us?

Ducky: Because they’ve killed us.

Me:

Ducky: Of course the monster has a truck so it might take the bodies elsewhere.

Me: I don’t think…

Ducky: Shhh! I think the monster is coming back! 

Me: They only deliver once a day so…

Ducky: THERE SHE IS!!! ARRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Scared it away.

Me: That was a school bus.

Ducky: Didn’t stop, did it?

Me: Nope.

Ducky: Scared it away.

Me: ..

Ducky: Not today, monster/cat cabal. Not…today…

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Thanks, Daddy.
Me: For what?
Ducky: For being you.
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: You mean for feeding you and petting you and playing with you?
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: I don’t think that’s what I said. But since you just mentioned feeding me I forget.
Me: Sorry.
Ducky: So let’s try this again. Thank you for being you, Daddy. Thanks for being in my life.
Me: …
Ducky: I appreciate the things you do for me. But what I’m most thankful for is that you’re my Daddy.
Me: …
Ducky: Just felt like telling you. You look down today. So I thought I’d remind you.
Me: Thanks, Duck.
Ducky: Sorry you’re down, Daddy. But I just wanted to let you know that I’m happier with you around than I would be if you weren’t. Try to remember that, okay?
Me: Okay. Thanks, Ducky.
Ducky: You’re welcome.
Me: …
Ducky: Plenty of room down here on the floor if you feel like snuggling
Me: Thanks, Ducky. Sounds good.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Me: I love you too, Ducky.
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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Thanks, Daddy.

Me: For what?

Ducky: For being you.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: You mean for feeding you and petting you and playing with you?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I don’t think that’s what I said. But since you just mentioned feeding me I forget.

Me: Sorry.

Ducky: So let’s try this again. Thank you for being you, Daddy. Thanks for being in my life.

Me:

Ducky: I appreciate the things you do for me. But what I’m most thankful for is that you’re my Daddy.

Me:

Ducky: Just felt like telling you. You look down today. So I thought I’d remind you.

Me: Thanks, Duck.

Ducky: Sorry you’re down, Daddy. But I just wanted to let you know that I’m happier with you around than I would be if you weren’t. Try to remember that, okay?

Me: Okay. Thanks, Ducky.

Ducky: You’re welcome.

Me:

Ducky: Plenty of room down here on the floor if you feel like snuggling

Me: Thanks, Ducky. Sounds good.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you too, Ducky.

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wellthatsjustducky:

Me: It’s not going to work, you two.
Ducky: What?
Me: Stare all you want, you’re not getting any of my food.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Maybe I’m staring at you because I love you.
Me: Maybe. But Scooter is staring right at my tuna.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Perhaps she has noticed something untoward about said tuna.
Me: …
Ducky: Cats are not like us humans. They have strange, inexplicable powers.
Me: ”Us humans,” huh?
Ducky: Perhaps she has noticed something about that tuna that makes it unsafe for human consumption and is trying to warn us.
Me: …
Ducky: Being unable to communicate due to her lack of both language and expressive eyebrows, she is warning in the only way possible. Through the power of staring.
Me: …
Ducky: Staring is a cat’s greatest power.
Me: …
Ducky: During the Bronze Age Egyptians…
Me: You’re making this up.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Cats like fish.
Me: That much is true.
Ducky: And the cat has not learned that the key to getting food from you is to give attention to you and be cute while appearing to not be interested in your meal at all.
Me: …
Ducky: I mean the cat doesn’t love you unconditionally the way I do.
Me: …
Ducky: What food?
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
Head over to wellthats.com for information on our book and follow us at "Well That’s Just Ducky" for a new Ducky post every Sunday at 7:00 p.m. ET!

wellthatsjustducky:

Me: It’s not going to work, you two.

Ducky: What?

Me: Stare all you want, you’re not getting any of my food.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Maybe I’m staring at you because I love you.

Me: Maybe. But Scooter is staring right at my tuna.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Perhaps she has noticed something untoward about said tuna.

Me:

Ducky: Cats are not like us humans. They have strange, inexplicable powers.

Me: ”Us humans,” huh?

Ducky: Perhaps she has noticed something about that tuna that makes it unsafe for human consumption and is trying to warn us.

Me:

Ducky: Being unable to communicate due to her lack of both language and expressive eyebrows, she is warning in the only way possible. Through the power of staring.

Me:

Ducky: Staring is a cat’s greatest power.

Me:

Ducky: During the Bronze Age Egyptians…

Me: You’re making this up.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Cats like fish.

Me: That much is true.

Ducky: And the cat has not learned that the key to getting food from you is to give attention to you and be cute while appearing to not be interested in your meal at all.

Me:

Ducky: I mean the cat doesn’t love you unconditionally the way I do.

Me:

Ducky: What food?

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Tee hee!
Me: What’s so funny?
Ducky: I tricked The Lady.
Me: How’d you do that?
Ducky: I wanted to be pet. So I flopped down where she was going to lie down before she could get there!
Me: …
Ducky: So when she laid down she’d see me and go, “Oh! I should pet Ducky!”
Me: …
Ducky: And now she’s petting me!
Me: …
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Slowly.
Me: …
Ducky: And I she’s not scratching me like she usually does.
Me: …
Ducky: Did she just lie down on top of me?
Me: Pretty much.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Not petting? Just squooshing?
Me: Yup.
Ducky: …
Me: …
Ducky: Better than nothing.
Me: I love you, Ducky.
Ducky: I love you, Daddy.
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wellthatsjustducky:

Ducky: Tee hee!

Me: What’s so funny?

Ducky: I tricked The Lady.

Me: How’d you do that?

Ducky: I wanted to be pet. So I flopped down where she was going to lie down before she could get there!

Me:

Ducky: So when she laid down she’d see me and go, “Oh! I should pet Ducky!”

Me:

Ducky: And now she’s petting me!

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Slowly.

Me:

Ducky: And I she’s not scratching me like she usually does.

Me:

Ducky: Did she just lie down on top of me?

Me: Pretty much.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Not petting? Just squooshing?

Me: Yup.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Better than nothing.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ag

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