Well, That's Just Great

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Posts tagged with "Easter bunny"

Catching Up

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.

Catching Up

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.
Apr 8

Rewind Sunday from Good Friday last year: Jesus Catches Up On Christianity

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're real and you're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. True and true. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.

I wanna Easta Egg! I wanna Easta Egg!!

Religious debate

  • Her: I think there are names for the day before Easter and the day after.
  • Him: Yes. Saturday and Sunday.
  • Her: Ha, Ha. You know what I mean. A name like "Good Friday."
  • Me: For Saturday, how about PrEaster?
  • Other Her: And Monday could be Post-er.
  • Her: I'm not asking you to make up names. I'm saying they have names already, fools.
  • Him: (Googling) Here it is. "Holy Saturday."
  • Me: Holy Saturday, Batman! The Joker has stolen all of the Easter Bunny's eggs!
  • Him: That's stupid.
  • Me: Shut up. That's funny.
  • Him: No, I mean why The Joker? Egghead is a much better choice of Batman villain for that scenario.
  • Me: Fair enough.
donnalethal:

nightmare

donnalethal:

nightmare

GPOYWYBATEBW
(Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself With Your Brother And The Easter Bunny Wednesday)
That’s me on the Man-Rabbit’s lap.
When I look at that hair all I can see is how obvious it is that my mom wanted girls.
Ag

GPOYWYBATEBW

(Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself With Your Brother And The Easter Bunny Wednesday)

That’s me on the Man-Rabbit’s lap.

When I look at that hair all I can see is how obvious it is that my mom wanted girls.

Ag

Sep 4
juliasegal:
The dog is gonna FREAK OUT…I would.

juliasegal:

The dog is gonna FREAK OUT…I would.