Well, That's Just Great

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Posts tagged with "Easter"

I'm the Easter Rabbit, hurray!

The true meaning of Easter: helping the Easter Bunny and getting a Dead End Kid to pound Elmer Fudd’s skull!

Well, now I know.
Thanks rumorcontrol and brevetcaptain!
Ag

Well, now I know.

Thanks rumorcontrol and brevetcaptain!

Ag

Yesterday was Good Friday. Tomorrow is Easter. I forget if they ever told us in Sunday School what today was called?

PrEaster?

Evester?

Tease-ster?

Segue-day?

Catching Up

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.

Catching Up

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue this chat over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.
Apr 8

Rewind Sunday from Good Friday last year: Jesus Catches Up On Christianity

  • Jesus: Hi, I'm Jesus Christ.
  • Pete: Wow! You're real and you're back!
  • Jesus: Yep. Yep. True and true. So what's been going on?
  • Pete: ...don't you know all?
  • Jesus: It's complicated. Suffice it to say I could know all, but what's the fun in that? No surprises. Dad, the Holy Ghost and I did give free will partially so we could wager on what choices you'd all make.
  • Pete: And?
  • Jesus: You'll never go broke betting on humans to make the selfish, stupid choice is all I'll say.
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Actually I've kept my nose out of all the stuff done in my name. Figured I'd get frustrated if I watched to closely. "Hey! I wouldn't do that!" and what have you.
  • Pete: Probably a smart move.
  • Jesus: But I know how humans are with patterns and anniversaries so I figured what better day to return to earth than the anniversary of the day I was crucified?
  • Pete: Okay.
  • Jesus: Wipe out the bad memory with a good one, you know?
  • Pete: Isn't that what Easter does?
  • Jesus: Easter? The pagan thing with the rabbit and the eggs? You all glommed that onto me?
  • Pete: Kinda. Peeps taste good.
  • Jesus: Pardon?
  • Pete: Never mind.
  • Jesus: Anyway, does this anniversary day have a catchy name too?
  • Pete: Yeah. Good Friday.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: What was that?
  • Pete: Good Friday.
  • Jesus: GOOD Friday?
  • Pete: What's wrong?
  • Jesus: No, no, nothing's wrong. It just seems like an odd name. I mean, it wasn't a very good day for me, you know.
  • Pete: I think it's called that because you died for our sins so it's good for us.
  • Jesus: ...
  • Pete: ...
  • Jesus: Well that's a little self absorbed, isn' it?
  • Pete: I dunno. It's just what the church calls it.
  • Jesus: I mean how about "Rough But Necessary Friday?" Or "Jesus and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good Day?"
  • Pete: That's like a kid's book title.
  • Jesus: I know. I was using it to illustrate the point.
  • Pete: You know the titles of kids books but not the name of the day you were crucified?
  • Jesus: First, I told you I've kept out of religion. Everyone is allowed their passions. Even Christ.
  • Pete: Ha!
  • Jesus: What?
  • Pete: Passions..it's just...never mind.
  • Jesus: And secondly I DO know the name of the day I was crucified. It was called "The crappy day I got nailed to a cross...I think it was a Friday but who cares what day of the week it was, I was nailed to a cross Friday."
  • Pete: Sorry.
  • Jesus: It's fine. I'm guessing I'm going to find a few places where the church and I differ. Thanks for being willing to talk. Can we continue over a hamburger?
  • Pete: Uh..no. It's Friday during Lent.
  • Jesus: So?
  • Pete: Uh oh.
Apr 6

Tonight is the night all the Jewish Sith gather for Darth Seder.

- Ag

One last happy $&@!ing Easter wish from the angriest, most miserable looking plush Easter ducky I have ever seen.

I bought him just so there was no chance of him ending up in a child’s home and terrifying him!

Ag

One last happy $&@!ing Easter wish from the angriest, most miserable looking plush Easter ducky I have ever seen.

I bought him just so there was no chance of him ending up in a child’s home and terrifying him!

Ag

The always lingering concern that passive aggression lies behind every group text.
Ag
(it didn’t)

The always lingering concern that passive aggression lies behind every group text.

Ag

(it didn’t)

thedailywhat:

Double Entendre of the (Easter Sun)Day: I don’t think that means what you think it means.
[christiannightmares.]

thedailywhat:

Double Entendre of the (Easter Sun)Day: I don’t think that means what you think it means.

[christiannightmares.]