Smile Friday: My Older Brother And Me.
On the positive side, I was adorable.
Negatively, I am getting dangerously close to that body type again!
Ag
Smile Friday: I Seemed Pretty Happy With My “Wonderful Waterful” Edition
Aaaaand…pretty sure that was a “The Black Hole” T-shirt.
That’s right. I was always cool.
Ag
Can someone explain to me why a large number of smokers still think it’s okay to throw their cigarette butts on the ground?
Seriously. I thought everyone kind of came to an agreement in the 1970s to stop littering. Woodsy the Owl taught everyone to “Give a Hoot. Don’t Pollute!” and people stopped throwing their unwanted 8 Track tapes and styrofoam Big Mac boxes out the windows of their AMC Gremlins and such.
But somehow a lot of smokers didn’t get the memo. Some jerk on the second floor here flicked a glowing butt off the landing tonight and it just barely missed Ducky and me. When I had a job that involved a pan and broom the items that we swept up more than any others were cigarette butts. During wildfire season here in Florida you still see smokers flicking smoldering little fire-starters out of their car windows. Is this some statement of protest over the restrictions on smokers?
“Tell me I can’t smoke in the prenatal care ward of this hospital, will ya’?! Well I’ll show you, you liberal freedom killers! Enjoy sweeping, MFer!”
Is there any other habit where we have acquiesced to this kind of behavior? Is it cool with everyone if you leave your wine bottles on the lawn after failing to combat your alcoholism for the 325th straight day? Buy some socks and you can throw the little hangers out the car window? Am I allowed to leave the bodies of the hitchhikers I abduct on the…never mind.
You know, we all have had to accept high unemployment, political disfunction, and the slow but consistent dumbing down of of society. I’m guessing after shoving all that down under the surface it’s going to be something small like cigarette butts that make people like me snap. When you see me on the news described as the “Butt Stalker” you’ll know it really was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Ag
Me: Hey, Cody. You can jump down anytime you want to.
Cody: Where’s the horse?
Me: Ducky is on the floor. Maybe the two of you…
Cody: I’m good here, Gramps. What have ya’ got in the way of treats in this joint ? Got any Gaines Burgers? I’ve got a wicked craving for a Gaines Burger.
Me: Gaines Burgers haven’t been made since the 80’s. How could you…
Ducky: What’s a Gaines Burger?
Me: Ducky, just…
Cody: Oh they’re delicious, Seabiscuit. Chuck Wagon is good, but really the hype from the commercial is what sells…
Me: Chuck Wagon? How old…
Ducky: Which is the one with gravy?
Cody: Well, Chuck Wagon has gravy, but Gravy Train is really the most recog…
Me: Look if you two are going to discuss dog food brands you’ll do it on the floor thank you very much.
Cody: …
Ducky: …
Cody: What’s his problem?
Ducky: He recently peed a rock out.
Me: Enough!
Cody: Geez. Someone could use a Snausage.
Ag
The Black Hole (1979)
Oddly enough, this was the year I was born AND the nickname my mother received afterwards.
Hmmm…I was born in 1973. My mother also had several nicknames based on movies released that year:
- Bang the Drum Slowly
- Harder They Come
- Enter The Dragon
- Shaft in Africa
What?
Ag
un:
Still looking for one of these…
Designed for people like ME..who make this happen!
Damn straight!
Ag
