February 2012
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BREAKING VIA AP: "A person familiar with the... →
inothernews:
For fuck’s sake.
Announcement set for later today.
So, what are we going to do for the employees who are outraged that their employers whined and complained their way out of having to provide basic health care for the employees they insure in a country where employer based health care is the only option? Nothing. Right. Because even if the vast majority of people in the united...
“There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there.”
– Bruce Lee (via observedintoexistence)
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Tickets Available!
Love theater?
Love me?
Hate Central Florida and would like to journey to a magical happy land known as Maycomb, Alabama in the 1930s?
Then come see me say the “N-word” repeatedly in “To Kill A Mockingbird!”
Let me know if you’re coming to a show and I can work the name of your tumblr into one of Bob Ewell’s racist incoherent rambles!
“To Kill a...
Rick Santorum: When the Anti-Choice Choose →
The procedure, whereby labor is induced to remove the fetus before it has any chance of surviving on its own, is considered by Mr. Santorum to be a ‘partial-birth abortion’, and he is correct. He also personally authorized one to save his wife, whom he loves.
Mr. Santorum is opposed to any and all forms of abortion. Incest?
Too bad. Rape? Too bad. Twelve years old? Too bad. Wife, mother,...
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“Don’t wish me happiness. I don’t expect to be happy all the time… It’s gotten...”
– Anne Morrow Lindbergh (via saddest-summer)
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See, I'm playing an awful person in "To Kill A...
Child Actress: Hey! I like you!
Me: Aw. Thanks.
Child Actress: You're not a bad person. You're just playing a bad person.
Me: Thank you.
Child Actress: Actors aren't bad people.
Me: ...
Child Actress: Right?
Me: Right. Actors just act like bad people.
Child Actress: Right!
Me: Do you know what we DO call the bad people in theater?
Child Actress: What?
Me: Directors.
Child Actress: ...
Me: That's funny kid. Trust me.
Child Actress: Kay.
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Last Sunday's New Ducky Post
New Ducky Posts Every Sunday At wellthatsjustducky!
wellthatsjustducky:
Me: Hey, Duck. I’ve got some news. The Lady is going to move in with us.
Ducky: Really? I thought your relationship was on hold until she was out of middle school.
Me: …
Ducky: Does her guidance counselor approve?
Me: Ha, ha. She’s not that young.
Ducky: Didn’t you get her pajamas with feet for Christmas?
Me: …
...
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notentirely replied to your post: TMI Tuesday
alright… let see… most embarrassing romantic moment juxtaposed with your fondest romantic memory.
Fondest: I’ve had a few, and “romantic” means different things to different people. Recently I got to watch the Electrical Water Pageant At Walt Disney World from the beach at the Polynesian Resort. That Pageant is a strong memory of...
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hoarr replied to your post: TMI Tuesday
Nope. None at all. Nothing on my mind. No no no. Zip. Zero. Nada.
What a pointless, unnecessary response. The only thing I can imagine that would be even less valuable would be if I wasted my readers’ time by responding to your response and posting it here.
Ag
TMI Tuesday
Questions? I can attempt to answer in an entertaining manner.
Ag
“As I looked backward and forward in time, however, I had to face this awkward...”
– David Frum (via azspot)
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NFL Executive: We need to make the presentation of the Lombardi Trophy more special.
TV Executive: What are you thinking?
NFL Executive: An old white guy who nobody recognizes walks agonizingly slowly to the temporary stage through the players who act like touching the trophy is a big deal. You know. Like it's the fucking Holy Grail.
TV Executive: Can the white guy have played for the franchise that beat the winning franchise fifty years ago when the franchise in this town was still in their original town and therefore no one in the stadium will give a shit about him?
NFL Executive: Sounds good.
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Every year it gets worse.
TV Executive: So the majority of Super Bowl viewers are not regular football fans.
NFL Executive: K.
TV Executive: So we'll be programming the pre-show for a general audience.
NFL Executive: And by general audience you mean...
TV Executive: Morons.
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“This notion may seem difficult for an American to digest, but it’s true. Only a...”
– More @THE ATLANTIC: What Americans Keep Ignoring About Finland’s School Success
(via braindeadmegaphone)
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Orgasms are like Chinese food.
sweetnlola:
If I have to explain why, then you haven’t had enough of either.
What I hate most about Twitter: finishing a good...
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Why do charismatic, attractive and nice guys...
asylum-countess:
Even if they weren’t taken you’d still be shit out of luck since they’re all gay. Just sayin’. Ag
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